Bonnie’s Beach 🏖

My Life. My Experiences. My Love. My Words.

Catcher of Rainbows…

I am not a writer.

I am not a painter.

I am not a poet.

I am not an electrician.

I am not a homemaker.

I am not religious.

So what the fuck am I? Besides annoying and sarcastic and hilarious? Probably the only thing I excel at being: a Jack of all trades. I would say Jill, but then people look at me all cockeyed, so it’s just easier being a Jack. Master? Nope! Expert? Absolutely not! Genius? Hahaha! No! Scholar?Most definitely nope! So what am I besides being subpar or good enough to do as many things as I possibly can?

Scatterbrained. Absolutely all over the place. You thought I’d use a better term, right? Believe me, I thought maybe philomath would be a good one to use as an all encompassing umbrella term, but when it is synonymous with scholar and genius, I have to say it’s a hard nope. If you’ve never heard of a philomath before, it’s worth the lookup. In a way it does describe me. You just have to knock its seriousness down about ten rungs to that whole Jack/Jill level. Nothings against the Jacks and Jills of the world, because we keep this world moving.

Wanting to learn everything I possibly can comes with a price. I have learned (yeah, ba da dum, tsss) as I’ve gotten older that my brain does not like to shut off. It has its moments of pure, determined focus, but more often than not, it is attempting to catch rainbows. My thoughts are everywhere and nowhere at the same time. I have so many ideas that I can’t seem to recall 90% of them. If I don’t associate your name with something immediately, I will forget it within two minutes of hearing it. If I sit down at a restaurant, and there’s no conversation, I will read everything in range, at least five times, and I will still have to reread the menu to figure out what I want to eat. It is a blessing and a curse. Mostly a curse, but it has given me a divine sense of humor that can come out as mean if I don’t watch myself. Which is also odd, because I am actually a nice person. Annoying, yes! Mean, no! But I can be, so don’t be a dick!

I have learned to write everything down so I don’t forget. I also have to remind myself to remember to write it down, because I will forget to do that too. There are so many things I still want to do, see, and experience in my life, that I no longer have a bucket list. I have a CVS receipt over a mile long. In fact, it’s probably hit the two mile mark at this point, but honestly, I don’t remember where it left off. Obviously the list gets longer each year, because I find myself doing things that aren’t even on my list to begin with. Then I add more to that list that I may or may not get to this year. Or next year. Or ever. Eek!

The desire to learn is strong. I do consider myself pretty damn good at figuring things out. I can Google like a champ, and if I can’t find it on the internet, it most likely doesn’t exist. So there’s that. I love puzzles, cryptograms, word searches, and other random, mind-engaging activities. No. I do not like crosswords, chess, or algebraic equations that use Greek alphanumeric characters that have an assigned, mathematical value. Hell nope! When puzzles are associated with math, like the Rubik’s Cube, I’m out. I can add, multiply, figure out angles, and solve for x. Calculators are my friends. Again. Google is my friend. I can get a max of two sides of that damn cube. So I gotta admit that performing at 33.3…% efficiency is sad. Like, really sad.

And yet I must learn more!

But I never seem to want to learn everything about one thing. I just want to learn something about everything. So that whole curse thing happens here: I learn enough to do whatever task is at hand, and then the desire to learn more vanishes once that particular task is complete. I have a minimum of twenty started projects going at the same time, but two new ones are added each time I complete one. I still owe (not really owe, I enjoy giving a lot) multiple Christmas gifts that I am still in the process of making. I put my heart into everything I do and make, and yet my brain likes to travel elsewhere. It is stressful, exhausting, and it takes its toll on my current, physical and mental state. I get tension headaches nearly every day now, and if I don’t get those under control, they evolve into migraines. Those bad boys like to linger a good three days. I want to get so many things done every day that I don’t seem to have time to finish them. That is, if I even find the time to begin.

Everything is fleeting. My writing comes in waves. My desire to paint is like a storm blowing through. I waste time doing absolutely, nothing worthy of said time. When my body wants nothing more than to sleep, because my eyeballs literally hurt, my brain has other plans. Yay! Puzzles!!! That inspiration to get things done, seems to sputter out midway through just writing out my to-do list. I am a mess.

So why am I writing now? Why am I sharing my nightmare of a mental state with you? Why am I sharing with you the things I enjoy starting and never finishing? Yeah. I don’t know either. Maybe it just helps me organize my thoughts a bit. Maybe I have some deep, philosophical urge to let others know they’re not the only crazy people out there. You are not alone. We are not alone. Know why? Because we are all fucking crazy. Seriously. The quicker you learn that the easier life becomes, because no one thinks the exact same way you or I do. At least we are unique in some way. Ok. Not really. We just like to believe that lie we tell ourselves. We are sooooooooo not unique, and the universe is completely indifferent to our measly, blip of an existence. Even knowing all of that, I still want to learn more. Yes. I’m crazy. But at least I admit it.

Keep doing your crazy. I’ll keep doing mine.

Just don’t be a dick about it.

-Bonnie

Yeah. I can write poetry to scare people, and paint one hell of a bear. I can make a grilled cheese that’ll give you a heart attack ten years down the road (I’m trying to shorten that to five by adding even more butter. I think it’s working), and I can organize like a motha fuckah! I can lay waste to a bag of Dove silky, milk chocolates, and I can get my cat Sausage to “do the thing” which involves getting her to rear up on her stocky little ham hock back legs to get more scratches. Yeah. She’s a special one with her own IG account @catsausage. I can also continue writing random shit about myself, because your level of crazy wants to keep reading it. Sucker! I kid! I appreciate you reading my randomness. I really do. I think it’s fun sharing my weirdness, because you can maybe relate to a fraction of it. If not, I at least hope it was entertaining. Go check out my cat’s page. You know you want to. Just do it. Yes. I am pushing my cat now. You’re welcome. 😉

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It’s Happening…

To start off I finally was able to get my hair done after a few weeks of watching my natural color grow out more and more. Let’s just say my natural, ashy light brown does not fit my skin tone or my personality. With the extra 2 1/2 inches came my first officially noticed gray hair. Then came a second one. Yikes! Not like I didn’t know they existed (thank you hair stylist and boyfriend), but as long as my hair remained highlighted, I could pretend they weren’t really there. A win for me!

But this is a milestone year. I will be turning forty in December. And though it’s going to be just another day, and just another year older, I don’t feel forty. I don’t feel old. I look it more and more, and I see the lines and loss of elasticity, but my personality and body don’t feel like they’ve hit that mark yet.

And yet, so it begins.

It’s happening!

What is happening you might ask? Oh, just the “back in my day” stories. It’s not like I haven’t noticed me stating how things used to be or that such and such place used to be open fields or whatever the case may be, but yesterday marked the first time I fully recognized just how blatant it had become. I could no longer ignore my comments of “way back when” were happening more often.

Let’s set the stage, shall we. My regular stylist, who is a few years older than me, was advised by her doctor to take it easy for a couple weeks due to health reasons. Salon let me know I could reschedule with her when she gets back or I could schedule with another stylist. I’m super picky about my hair (it’s my single beauty splurge), but remember those grays were showing, and I didn’t want to see them anymore. So I bit my lip, took the jump to get my long overdue hair into the shop for a tune up, and I went ahead and booked with a stylist I had never met. She was super sweet, a mother of two, and thirty this year. She did an excellent job, btw, but while you allow someone to play with your hair, there’s a lot of time sitting in a chair and coming up with conversation topics.

Mind you I am not super social. The older I get the more I avoid human contact and small talk. I am not a conversationalist unless I know you, and we have reached that level of comfort, although there are some people in the world that are very easy to talk to even when you don’t know their names and end up never running into them again. Imagine ships passing in the night. You know how the line goes. So while I am sitting in the chair with a mask (requirement to be in the salon) covering half my face and blanketed in basically a tarp, I was trying to find worthwhile subject matter we could discuss. It would be even more weird if I just sat there and didn’t say a damn thing. It would be extremely rude if I just whipped out the phone and either kept up with what I could for work or played sudoku nonstop.

The music playing over the speakers was an easy topic. It was horrible, country music neither of us had ever heard before. We couldn’t even figure out who was singing the songs. Not only that, but there was an awful cover of “Heaven Let Your Light Shine Down”, and we were both grateful for that one to end. So music. Music became a topic. Which, of course we had already discussed COVID-19 issues, I just rolled the music into how COVID will affect future concerts. We talked about concerts we had been to. She mentioned she had wished she’d gone to a George Straight concert last year when he was in town. I jump in with “I got to see him at the old Cowboys stadium in Irving for the George Straight Country Music Festival!” So here we go. Setting the stage for the backstory of days long past from my youth. Good Lord. I mention when that concert took place, ‘96 I believe. Holy crap! That was 24 years ago! Then another concert I went to back in ‘97 at the Texas Motor Speedway. It had just been built and basically held two large concerts before even having a race. The first was a country fest. No. I did not go to that one. I did however go to their Rock Fest ‘97!!! Let me tell you! Awesome concert!!!! Bush, No Doubt, Counting Crows, the Nixons, Collective Soul, and more. It was so kick ass!!!

So it may not seem like much to the average reader, but I have now noticed just how much those old stories kick in to create a connection with a younger crowd. The older party explaining how they are still relevant and how their experiences can correlate with the experiences yet to be had by the younger party. The younger party struggling to follow along since they don’t quite realize just how cool that story really is in the mind of the older party. No wonder the youth have a hard time listening to stories about the days of old. No wonder the majority of people I know don’t have a passion for studying history (yes, some of you are crazy for wanting to do that, imo). It’s right up there with telling someone they can’t do something. They’re going to do what they want to do, no matter how much you may try to explain what happened to you and how badly it turned out. It’s allowing them to touch the flame to not want to touch it again. Same with experiences. The older we get, the more we experience, and the more we want to share to keep those memories alive or relevant or teach or inspire. But that younger generation, they want to have their own experiences, and it’s hard to set time aside to hear about someone else’s when you just want to make your own.

With this new “happening“ I now want to hear those stories I didn’t quite appreciate when I was younger. The stories of how my mom had actually gone to a Beatles concert and even experienced Inna Gadda Da Vida. The stories of my dad taking out his metallic blue glitter dune buggy, the same one he would take me and the neighborhood girls out for sno-cones as a little kid on hot, Texas summer evenings. All of those things that get talked about over and over again, but they just went in one ear and right out the other, because they couldn’t be appreciated yet. Now I know.

Now I’m listening.

-Bonnie

And if I have any typos in this thing, I couldn’t care less. I’m typically picky about grammar, but I just don’t have time to fix all those written mistakes when I have so much more listening to do now. 😉

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A Trip To Paris…

Texas!!!!!!!

This week’s trip has me working from Hugo to Idabel, OK. With my coworker living in Paris, TX, that is where I’m hanging my hat for the next couple days. I’ve always wanted to go to Paris! 😂

With me traveling again, I’ve finally convinced myself to get the fuck out of my hotel room (and comfort zone) to explore the towns/cities where I’m staying. I’d heard about the Eiffel Tower in this town, and I had to see it, especially since I probably won’t ever see the real one in my lifetime. As much as I’d love to explore all of Europe and the surrounding countries, I’ll be just as happy to get to see all of the US. There are a lot of places on my travel bucket list, and I have to be realistic, right?! So, I decided to check this thing out, and I wasn’t disappointed! It’s super cute! The bigger perk of checking this thing out was the Red River Valley Veterans Memorial right next to it. It was beautiful! It had presence, and I could feel it. Although when I visit places like that I feel immense sadness. As hard as I try to enjoy the beauty and love of memorials, I can’t help but feel that way, and it takes all I have to not allow myself to fall any deeper. So after perusing the memorial I went back to the Eiffel Tower to cheer back up.

“The Paris, TX Eiffel Tower! Of course it has a red, cowboy hat!!! Why the hell not?!”

At this point I was debating on going back to the hotel (I was stupid tired) or go find something else. When I had searched for the tower I remembered seeing something about a historic site and a fountain. One thing I truly enjoy checking out are historic downtowns. The courthouses at the centers are usually pretty awesome! I searched for Paris’s original town center and headed that way. On my way I passed by a huge cemetery which I plan on checking out while I’m here. I heard there was a monument there that’s an angel with cowboy boots. Only in Texas, right?!

I find the historic downtown, and I gotta admit, it’s pretty cool! Lots of construction going on, old buildings being gutted, road work, etc. it looks like they’re trying to keep it in working order, and there are the usual antique shops, eateries, and randomness. The fountain was dead center to the south of the courthouse. It was pretty and peaceful, and I parked to check it out. It wasn’t anything grand, but I could definitely imagine people hanging out and eating lunch around this thing in warmer weather. I’d totally be eating a sandwich there on my lunch break!

After the fountain I figured I’d sort of drive around and check out some more of the buildings in the area. That is when I came across something I thought was pretty damn awesome!!!!! In the parking lot across from this old, crazy huge and odd looking church, was a community park. One side was a water park for warmer days, and the other side was a park of musical instruments. Now, when I say water park, I’m not talking something huge with slides or anything. It was basically a bunch of holes in the ground for water to come shooting out of at children playing in it. I gotta say that’s pretty fun and nice on a hot day! The music side had a large central set of pipes, surrounded by various xylophones, bells, and drums. All but the drums had attached mallets. Yes! I totally tried them out like I was a six year old! Even the sign for the music park was a xylophone, and of course I had to check that out too!

After feeling like a kid for a few minutes I decided to head back to the hotel. It was beginning to get dark after all, and I was exhausted. I figured I’d found plenty of new stuff to share with everyone, and I hope you enjoy it! It’s funny what you can find when you’re not looking. Seems a bit like life. I can sit in my hotel room longing for something to happen that never will, or I can get off my ass and find the beauty in the random and enjoy it! I hope you like the pictures below! Until next time!

-Bonnie

The RRV Veterans Memorial. This place was incredible!

Underneath the tower was a cool Texas inlay. I had to take a selfie…

The Culbertson Fountain which was dedicated in 1927! Construction on this thing had actually started in 1924, and it took three years to complete!

Harmony Park! Yes! I tried the instruments, and they sound pretty amazing! I’m not sure I want to know what it might sound like when twenty kids are beating on everything though…

Pretty much my view the first day of work this week, but it beats my computer monitors any day!!!!!

Of course I got one with the tower in the background!

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The Traveler…

I was recently asked by a friend if I’d ever thought about being a travel blogger. Well of course I have! Who wouldn’t want to travel the world and share new experiences with everyone who cares to read about them?! I mean, there are plenty of people who either can’t or don’t want to travel, and reading about them is their way to get out there and see what they are unwilling or unable to do. But my answer also brought out the main reasons why I would never pursue being a travel blogger. First off, I am at the point in my life where I wouldn’t even want to put in the type of effort it would take to make enough income to pay my current bills. Secondly, I am happy with the man I am with and where we are in our lives. When we do get to travel, it is for sanity and memories we get to create together.

Those who are close to me have surely noticed my BF does not like social media. He does not want pictures posted of him, and he would appreciate that I don’t really talk about him. Not to say he hasn’t been the reason behind some of my posts. But if anyone looks closely, they’ll notice there are no pictures of him that I post, and he isn’t tagged in anything either. He enjoys and likes to keep his privacy, and I respect that. He has also made me rethink a lot of my own social media content, and my participation has drastically lowered over the past year. Don’t think I don’t want to post pictures of us or declare my undying love for him for all my friends and family to see! I do! But I don’t have to prove anything to anyone that I am in a relationship with someone who lets me be my weird self. Yes. I admit I’m weird. It’s true! And we did recently take a couple of trips together, but I’m not writing to discuss those.

I’ve recently began traveling for work again. I love it and hate it. I love being able to get out of my office! I love being outside! Even when my weather app tells me it’s sunny even though I experienced snow flurries all day. I will happily be out in the heat or the cold and work my ass off. It’s a break from the norm, and it’s a way to keep my sanity. Although I love my normal routine, it’s nice to just break free from time to time and see new places. Even when the places are pretty boring!

Last week I was in Durant, OK. Two weeks before that I was in Oklahoma City, OK. Not really two places I would typically be excited to go to, and I wasn’t. It was for work anyway, and that’s what I focused on. If you haven’t worked with me out in the field, I am one of those people that love to get started early and will work until midnight if necessary. I’m sure a couple of coworkers think I’m crazy that starting the work day at 8am in the field isn’t early enough. But it’s not like I sleep well while I’m out of town anyway. Might as well get to work.

While I was out those two separate weeks, I realized I sorta lost my zeal to get out and experience where I was. It was work and hotel. Work and hotel. Oklahoma City didn’t inspire me to get out and see the sites. Yes. There are a plethora of things to do and see there, but I just couldn’t get motivated to even go out to eat. I mean, I brought my own food to stay on my diet. I’ve done a fair share of eating out and enjoying microbrews, and I just didn’t feel up to it this time around. Nor did I feel like checking out any local attractions. Not even the casinos. I was tempted at one point to stop at one on my drive home and drop a dollar in a spot to say I gambled at such and such casino. But then I thought nah. I’d have to park and walk in and actively take part in said activity. So I passed on that and continued driving.

Then I went to Durant. If you’ve never been there you’re really not missing too much. But maybe I did. The historic downtown had a fun flare to it, and I sorta wish I had gotten out to see it all. There was a pretty fun, artistic side to it, which made it a pretty cool little town. And there were some fun restaurants and bars that I could have stopped in to enjoy. But again, I brought all my own food and kept my work routine. You know the one: work, hotel, work, hotel. You get the point. There was also another big casino on my drive home. Did I stop this time? Nope! It would have entailed too much effort, and I was ready to be home.

Next week I will be back in OK. Our work is taking us through the Southeast corner of the state, and although there may not be a whole lot to see or do, I plan on adventuring this time around. I plan on walking through the small towns I stay in each trip I take up there (it’s not that far of a drive from where I live), and I also plan to write about them. Not that I am planning a side gig as a travel blogger, but just to share the new things that others may never get a chance to see. Who knows what I will find! I can still eat the food I bring and be faithful to the summer body I am trying to get (remember those are made in the winter or so I keep telling myself). Even though I kept myself in a pretty boring routine this past trip, I did stop once for some quick pictures in an alley. Odd place, I know, but as I mentioned earlier, Durant had an artsy side to it. Some of it you wouldn’t even see if you didn’t happen to drive to some off-the-beaten-path locations like we were for work. My first thought was that my daughter would love to see this! Then I thought my BF would think they were cool. Now I am sharing those with you, because I think you would like them too! So enjoy the pictures below, and I will share more from my upcoming trips.

Bonnie 💙

The random back alley in Durant. One block off the main drag, and we just randomly drove by it the first time getting from one location to the next.

The blue morpho is what convinced me to drive back by and get some pictures. It is my favorite butterfly, and I actually have four of them tattooed to represent four amazing women in my life.

Around the corner you could escape to four different places at each painted “window”.

This was a beach volleyball spot across from a Veterans of Foreign Wars building. It even had a place for horseshoes on the right. Thought it would have been an awesome spot to play and enjoy some cold ones if it wasn’t 30° that day.

Just a friendly neighbor checking us out while at work. A beautiful horse that knew I had gotten my phone out and decided to become camera shy. Go figure.

Hotel life in Oklahoma City. Yep! Gotta love those hotel rooms! 😂😂

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Love Is…

Amazing! It gives you the gift of flight to soar above the clouds. It motivates you. It allows you to see parts of your world you didn’t even know existed. It makes you brave. It makes you smile. It makes your heart skip a beat.

It’s also terrible. In a way. When you had it, and then one day it is gone. Poof! That strength and invincibility no longer support your weight above the clouds. You dive, headfirst, into an abyss where the world around you is gray toned and dull. You hide. You cry. Your heart hurts.

The saying, “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all” is such a statement of truth. Many of us have been through the highs and lows of love, only to come out more hardened and hidden away, afraid of having our hearts broken yet again. But when you say fuck it and let love happen, you hesitantly and somewhat cautiously dive in. The mistakes of the past make you leery of the what ifs. What if this doesn’t work? What if he leaves me? What if she decides she’s better off alone? All those what ifs that scream in the back of your mind, vying for your attention. How do you ignore them?

You choose to.

You choose to love rather than fear the unknown. And yes. Love can make you blind. But when you’re a seasoned veteran of love and love lost, you can’t help to be prepared. As long as you’re prepared you have nothing to fear, right? This world we live in is built on fear. Survival of the fittest is in our DNA. We can’t help it. We as humans can survive without love. Although, what a sad world to live in without love. Those chemicals that release hormones and the sensations of love, are there for our survival. But who wants to get into the technicalities?!

Love. It hits you when you least expect it. It makes you tongue-tied and stupid and crazy and silly and happy. Everyone’s experience with love is different. Some find the love of their life early on. Some don’t find it until the end. Some find it only to have it ripped away and taken from them forever. It’s a battle of love and evil. The good and the bad. And love usually ends up winning. How many times do we see an act of hate only to be muted by acts of love? How often are we engulfed in pain and suffering to be gifted with a warm meal, a shoulder to cry on, a kind word, or a simple hug?

Love in all its forms dominate our lives in some way. How do you decide when to take the leap? How do you know when it’s real? How do you know that you’ll never be hurt again? You don’t.

You take a deep breath and leap.

And you love with everything you have.

And you learn to fly all over again.

-Bonnie 💙

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I Miss You…

We all miss something or someone or some time or some place or some experience. There’s a hole somewhere. A place that can only be filled with memories or imagination. I know a lot of times I’ll say I miss being a kid. And it’s not that I can’t run around or go climb trees or explore, it’s just that I make excuses that I’m tired, I want to sleep in, that’s private property, I don’t want to get hurt, I don’t have time, my knee is acting iffy, etc. It’s sad that I somehow deny myself those simple, childish joys. I feel the urge to get out and do more, but it’s so nice just relaxing in the hammock with my book or sitting on the back porch with Sausage, whose favorite thing to do is relax:

That’s Sausage. I really need to leash train that little beast so I can drag her around with me in the great outdoors. I’ll let you know if that is even a possibility. 😂

But back to missing things.

So what has brought about this sort of laziness? I miss the never ending curiousness and energy I once had. I think once you get to my age it’s not that you’re old, but it’s more that you’re well aware time is actually pretty short. I’ll be thirty-eight this year, and yeah, I know, to some people that’s not old, that’s very true. I’m not old per se, but I am old enough to understand I’m not young anymore. I’m old enough to understand that life is short, and I need to spend time with the ones I love before time runs out. That also means I understand I have a limited amount of time to try things I’ve never done and enjoy things I love to do. Still, I don’t do them (not all of them anyway). And I know I’ll miss them if I let them slip away.

It is a curious thing to try to understand why these choices are made. It sort of circles back to my post about those super go go go people. It’s like they totally understand time is short and are doing everything they can to fill it. Then there are those people who really just don’t gaf. They let time go by and, well, maybe it doesn’t matter if they don’t care. Maybe that’s just one of the “keys” to getting through life happily (or just getting through it). You either understand and act upon squeezing as much life in as you can, or you go through life not caring so it doesn’t bother you? Am I an in-between-er? Is that even a category? Everything is categorized these days anyway, so I may as well stick a label on it right? But still, missing things. I keep missing my point here and drifting.

Missing things! I miss the youth I used to have. I miss the memory skills I used to have. I miss friends who were toxic to my life, and even though they were toxic, they were still a part of who I have become. I miss the family members in my life who are no longer with me. I miss the freedoms of being a kid and not having to adult. I miss summer vacations with cousins, and just being able to actually go on one. I miss the newness of experiences growing up. I miss you. I miss me.

So here I go with another balance spiel. I keep getting myself stuck in the past at times. I know this doesn’t do me any good. Reminiscing about the past only makes you sad. It makes you long for things that are no longer obtainable. Memories, good or bad, can have a negative affect the more you dwell on them. Even the good memories can make you begin to wish for them again and distract you from experiencing good things right in front of your face. This seems to be a recurring issue with me. Maybe it is with everyone? Maybe some people are just better at jumping back into reality before the past begins to take over their thoughts? Here I go again creating more questions and digging deeper into something without actually fixing it. But maybe that’s what I need to do to be a better me? Maybe this sort of inner reflection is what I need to see me more clearly? To realize that I don’t need to miss who I was? Maybe I need to see past the past, and take joy in who I am becoming? Back in the times that I miss, all those experiences have helped shaped me into me. They helped shape you into you. And do I miss your younger you? Do I miss your not-as-wise-as-you-are-now you? Not at all! So why should I dwell on missing the old me? Well, the younger me, really, but you know what I mean.

Maybe this post can help us both look forward to what we will become. Maybe that’s the key to motivation and living life to the fullest? And maybe you have to take the time to miss the past, because it helps you plan and get excited about the future? Obviously I can’t answer that, but I think I’m pretty good at the introspection part of it all. So, me and balance. Gotta find the balance. Gotta enjoy the now. The past is done. It can’t be changed, and even if it hurts, it’s still there. The past can teach us so many lessons if we choose to learn from it, but it can also rip us apart and drag us down to live it over and over again and miss our now. Our own sort of Hell if you will.

Anyway, I’m rambling. Plus I’ve noticed my posts are sort of boring lately. I keep doing this look inward thing, and I can only imagine how exciting it is to continuously turn the mirror back at myself/yourself whatever. I’ll post something upbeat again soon I promise! It’s almost my mini-me’s 17th (yeah OMG!) birthday, and there are some good time’s ahead! Oh! I got to see the Alamo for the first time and cruise San Antonio’s river walk a little bit this past weekend! Yeah. I know. I live in Texas and hadn’t seen any of that yet. It’s a big state dammit!!! I’ve been pretty blessed to see some other things in my life that many will never see, so I’m just checking off some sites from my to-see list! I’m sure there will be some more San Antonio exploring and some river floating in my near future. Maybe even some peace and quiet and relaxation. I’ll let you know! Til then, ciao!

-Bonnie

Oh yeah! I’m getting more work done on a tattoo piece that I am so looking forward to getting done!!! So excited!!!!!!

Volleyball time with my mini and her bestie! Oh summer days and sunshine!!!!

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It’s a Little Bit Funny…

…this feeling inside. But seriously though, isn’t it?

I’ve had a lot of changes in my life over the past few months. None of them bad, that I can recall. I have been anointed with amazing luck at this point in my life. All of it unexpected. All of it amazing!

I would go into more detail, but it’s not quite the right time yet to discuss everything. As much as I have ranted in the past and discussed personal matters, I am trying to conduct myself in a perceptively more mature way. What I will tell you though, is that the heart is an amazing muscle!!!! Don’t ever underestimate it! I say this to you as much as I say it to myself. It has helped me survive over the years, and even when I think it couldn’t break any further, it continues to beat and to thrive. I’ve always promoted loving with all you have. Sometimes that is extremely difficult to do, but what’s the point of life if you don’t love it?

During spring break a couple of weeks ago, I took my amazing mini me, aka Angel Pie, camping for a couple of nights. She and I had never done that as just the two of us. We organized all the camping stuff, grabbed my two tents (we weren’t sure which one we’d have to use), the hammocks, the sleeping bags, all that fun stuff! This had to have been the most organized camping trip ever! We stopped at the store on the way out to Mineral Wells State Park. Living in Fort Worth, Mineral Wells always seemed so damn far away! I pulled up Waze, and MWSP was only 35 minutes from where I currently live. We were almost disappointed how close it was!

They had one spot available when I had gotten online to reserve the spot, and it was only for one night. We were at the rv portion. Which was totally fine. We had no one across from us, no one near us, and it was awesome! We got there early to set up our site and then went out looking for a place to hike and check out for the afternoon. They have climbing there!!!! We decided to free climb around the area. Lots of really cool spots to climb up and down and get into precarious situations. It was a blast!!!!! That evening we get back to the site, ride our longboards around the camp circle (which was perfect from where we were at since it was mostly downhill), and we got the hammocks hung up and the fire going. It was a beautiful night!!!!

The next day we knew we had to pack up, which sucked, because we really want d to stay another night. No open spots for the second night and no cancelled reservations. Bummer! But!!!! They had primitive camping available. We have never done this, mind you. We have never hiked out to camp. Ever! So, we decided to just go for it! Why not?! Let’s just say we fell in love!!! Yes. It was just one night, but it was greatness!!! We filled up my Camelbak, grabbed a snack, bungee corded the crap out of our hammocks and sleeping bags, took the couple of essentials just in case, and headed out. Now, we were exhausted from spending the day climbing and hiking, and we decided to hike some more. We got to our spot, hung up the hammocks, and were worn the fuck out. We basically relaxed the rest of the evening.

The fun part of this is how you don’t realize how cold it can get sleeping in a hammock. Our first night was in a tent, on the ground, with mats under us. I hadn’t planned on sleeping in my hammock at all, so I never packed up my over quilt. Never crossed my mind! I woke up in the middle of the night to my mini me asking me for my sweatshirt. I informed her I was currently wearing it, and I suggested she join me in my hammock (thankfully I have a double and a couple singles, I brought the double, whew). The hammock sleeping was super comfy until then. But it was much warmer!!! Still had a blast!!!

We waited the next morning until the other campers packed up and headed out. We wanted to be lazy and enjoy our time out there. It was amazing! We had a nice little hike back, got some coffee at the camp store, and went out climbing one last time. We were so tired and worn out, but we had so much fun! We met and climbed around with a family that we met out there. Super sweet people!

What a great short trip we had!!! Even though we weren’t far from home, it made us want to do more. So now we hope to start camping over the weekends when we can and when the weather will hopefully be nice. We probably need to practice a bit more before we do any crappy weather camping. Just sayin.

Anyway, I thought that would be fun to share with you. I hope you have an amazing weekend enjoying whatever it is you enjoy doing.

Love,

Bonnie

Me and the mini on the first day!

Awesome pic the mini got! These smelled absolutely amazing!!!!!

The view was incredible!!

We had a blast taking photos on the rocks!

Our campsite the first night. Didn’t have the hammocks up yet.

Sunset on the first night was gorgeous!!

Fun selfie the first night! Flash was a tad bright…

Our second night spent in the hammocks this time. This was out at our primitive spot.

Fun little pose on our last day. Love that girl!!!

My mini is pretty awesome!!

Quick video of the lake. It was so peaceful out there!!!

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Another Quickie!

Still here in Golden and loving it!!!  I am currently at brewery #3, Mountain Toad Brewery.  Not sure why this place only has 4 stars, because I dig the beer here way more than at Coors and Golden City.  I tried five of their beers and was not disappointed with any of them!!!


I was debating on doing more hiking today, but decided I’d check this place out instead. This morning I stopped at a place called Cafe 13 for some breakfast and coffee.  Ended up devouring an egg, ham, and cheddar croissant along with a pumpkin spice latte. So delicious!!!

After that I went for a quick walk on the Triceratops Trail!  Was not disappointed there either!  It was a ton of fun!  Short and sweet.  Then I drove up lookout mountain to a trailhead there and hiked another 2.5 miles or so.  It definitely paid off at the end!!



So I hiked back down that one and drove back into town. I am in love with Golden.  I could totally live here.  I know.  I know. Nowhere near a beach.  But it is beautiful here!!!!  Check out the creek that runs through town!


Anyway, deciding on if I want to do more hiking or walk around Golden some more.  Think I might walk around town a bit.  After I have another beer or two of course!!!  I’ll update the blog again soon!   If you want to follow me on Instagram or Snapchat find me.  Oceangrrrl on Snapchat and Oceanblc on Instagram. Pretty easy.  Find me!

Ciao for now!!!!!

-Bonnie

Golden!!!! 
Coors Brewery Tour


Headin out for the evening to Golden Coty Brewery.


Triceratops Trail

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I’m Sorry.

So it’s been a while since I’ve written, and I have received some major grief about it. You know who you are! 😉 It actually makes me feel pretty good knowing my friends and family kinda miss me. So I suppose I have a lot of writing to do today in order to get everything caught up. Here goes.

I left off on December 14th, in San Francisco. I had gotten to my beach, driven over the Golden Gate and checked into my hotel in Pleasanton. It was a pretty awesome day! The next morning I had a horn demo to do for work. I had never done one. Just so you know what the heck I am talking about, the company I work for designs and installs quiet zones and wayside horn systems (only one of many things they do). Basically it’s a horn that is aimed directly toward road traffic to sound for the train as it approaches a crossing. This directs the sound of the horn blowing to the vehicles needing to stop, rather than having the train blow his horn as he comes into town, generally blasting homes and businesses with a high number of decibels and plain old noise. So this takes some coordination with the railroads and towns and contractors. I was a bit nervous to say the least, but it turned out to be an amazing experience. Not only did I get to meet and work with some great people, it was incredible seeing the people who lived in the town come out to hear the demo. It was greatness! And I totally understand! I lived pretty much under an airport, and you get used to that, no problem, but I couldn’t imagine trying to live next to a set of tracks hearing that train horn multiple times a day. I have been miles away and could still hear that damn whistle. It’s faint, but it’s still there.

Anyway, enough about that. I was told I needed to stay through that Tuesday. The demo was on Monday. I had nothing to do that next day. I asked my boss what he wanted me to do. His response was to have fun. My idea of fun was driving to San Jose. I was excited. I had never been there! The buildings were quite pretty, but I’m a sucker for those lovely, blue windows. This city looked nice. I should have a good time here right? Wrong! What the F was I thinking?! San Jose sucked!!!! After walking around to grab something to eat and explore the city a bit, let’s just say I was less than impressed. What a shit hole! I would have been better off sleeping in and watching a movie. So I decided to drive back up to San Fran! At least there are things to do there. Besides, I was hungry! Really effing hungry!

On my way up to SF, I got to drive by the ballpark. I should have stopped, but I was on a mission for sustenance. I made it back over to Pier 39. At the end of the pier was a sushi place! Mouth was a watering! I ordered up some sushi, a bottle of nigori sake, and enjoyed my view overlooking the bay. It was quite nice. After perusing the shops on the pier, I decided to head back over to Pleasanton. I had a super early flight the next morning, and I needed to get back to pack and get some sleep. Everyone else seemed to want to leave the city too! At the same, effing, time!!!!!! Awesome!!! I will never live in a big city unless I never plan to drive out of it! Ridiculous!!! I was engulfed in stupidity, and I couldn’t get out!!!!!! I was talking to my mom on the phone, hands free of course, and she got to hear the frustration. Sorry mom. It was like being thrown into some lawless, Mad Max society, where no traffic laws truly existed and the only way to get out was to just be a jerk driver. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em! So I did! Took me two hours to get back to the hotel. Two. Hours!!!!!!!! It was only supposed to be a 45 minute drive. It could have been worse, I know, but still. Stupid!

So blah blah blah, I flew back home, worked a couple hours that day. Worked all day Thursday. Dentist appointment on Friday. Missed the company Christmas party due to being on Vicodin and recovering from twilight anesthesia. Anyone who knows me knows I am not a fan of dentists. After having multiple teeth pulled as a child and years of bad braces experience, I get nervous. I don’t do well with hands and needles and drills in my mouth, so it’s either nitrous or twilight. I prefer the twilight. I don’t want to know what’s going on. I can’t cry if I’m oblivious. Seriously. I don’t cry cry. Just the tear streaming thing. Like crying when I’m super mad. I can’t help it. I know I’m fine, but they just start flowing. I’m prepared for that whole zombie apocalypse, bring it on. But any dental work will have to be done after someone hits me over the head with a rock or something. So now you know my anxiety caused by dentistry. Yea!!!!

This brings us up to the week of Christmas. My birthday is two days before that. I get taken out for my birthday on Monday by my dad and second mom and my mini-me and her step-brother. It was a good evening. Had some great Mexican food at Los Asaderos. I had never eaten there, and I must say it was quite delicious. Those were some good margaritas! We headed back to their house for an early Christmas. They weren’t going to be in town and wanted to give gifts early, and it was a great feeling getting to unload the gift I had bought two months prior for my stepmom. Finally!!! Yea!!!!!!!!! My dad will get his after he gets back from Missouri. He wouldn’t have been able to put it to good use before heading out of town anyway. Went to work the next day (my b-day) and had a birthday lunch with my buddy José and wiring mentor, Tina (she taught me how to wire and read prints and a lot of other cool things). Hadn’t seen her in a long time, so that was pretty awesome! Got back to the office to see that they decided to close at noon. Noon! There goes my getting stuff out that day. Oh well. I have next week. It was still a good day though. Got to drag my munchkin with me to the office. Got some great b-day calls. Drove down to my mom’s for birthday lasagna made by mom, and pumpkin bread and cream cheese icing made from scratch by my sister. Mmmmmmmmm… One of my best friends drove an hour to give me my birthday gift on my birthday. So that made my b-day even better! All in all, I had a great day!!!!!!

So Christmas was a day away. I needed to do some last second shopping and run a couple errands. My big Christmas gift to myself was getting in touch with my old trainer and meeting up with him. I’ll be starting my training after the new year with a new trainer named Kyle. My old one is now a club manager and no longer trains others. 😦
The past couple of years I have been going downhill. I sit in front of a computer at work, pretty much all day, and I am so tired from doing nothing, that I pretty much stick with that routine for the rest of the day. It’s almost as if I’d lost my zest for living. The lazier I got, the less I wanted to get out and do the things I loved. It’s gotten to the point where I have shut out most of the outside world. Not a good place to be. I may not like being around people very much, but I need to spend time with friends and family and get out. Yes. I have gotten to travel and get out and explore, but it’s been alone. It’s lonely trying to have fun by yourself. I am no social butterfly, and I have no problem eating out or having a drink at a bar alone, but it’s always nice being able to share experiences with others. If I keep it up, this blog may be the only way I’ll really share anything anymore. Pretty pathetic, huh? On top of all that, numerous studies show you can extend your life by having a good sense of community and friendships with others. Then I get overwhelmed trying to find a group to join to maybe at least make some buddies and get out more. It’s stupid! Anyway, enough about my ridiculous self-pity moments. It’s a vicious cycle!

My mom’s Christmas gift was Italian beef ordered from Portillo’s in Chicago, and damn that was good!!!! Madi had never had an Italian beef sandwich before. My sister had never experienced Portillo’s. That was some damn good food!!!!! I think we started a new holiday tradition!!! I am totally down with it! Screw traditional dinner! Portillo’s!!!! Yeah!!!!!

So now I bring you up to today. A cold front came through. It be chilly! Still hanging at my mom’s. We are going to make it a movie day and head out this afternoon, but for now we’re all just lounging around. It’s nice. Cali is keeping my toes warm. 🙂 Harley is keeping the mini-me warm. Baby Kitty is off somewhere being her ADD self. Trust me. She is the most easily distracted creature I have ever seen! I love my hairy kids, and I love the half version of me currently sitting in the living room. 🙂

I won’t be in my car for a while. I’ll be adding a bunch of miles this week to it, but there won’t be much sleeping in it until mid January. I’ll continue writing and attempting to keep you entertained. I hope everyone had a great Christmas with their loved ones!! I’ll talk to you soon! Ciao!

-B

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