Yes. It’s been quite a long while since I had last written. I know a few of you have been disappointed in my lack of communication. I must tell you, I have missed writing. I have missed sharing my life and emotions and experiences with you! But I have also been respecting another’s wishes, because they were uncomfortable with my writing about anything personal. Sadly, my life is a tad personal, and I respectfully quit writing. On a heartbreaking note, I am no longer with my writer’s block. It’s amazing how extra sad that becomes when I type it out. It’s always one thing to have it in your head. It’s another to see it before you.
I am heartbroken that my life, yet again, did not go according to plan. I had written about it before. I thought I had learned my lesson. Don’t plan. Just do. And yet, here I am, in a place I never planned to be, in a life I never foresaw, in a status I never thought I’d have to endure again. I thought id be happily married soon! I saw it!!! I saw it all in my head! So why am I not living that vision?! Why am I alone again?! Why am I here again?! What in the fuck does the universe want from me?!?!
I won’t get into the reasons why I am single again, but there is always later. I will talk about it when emotions aren’t so fresh. I know I am some heartless bitch of a woman with terrible timing. I’m sure that no one has heard the best about me. I’m sure my side of the story would only feel like a pathetic attempt to keep whatever ground I am left standing on. I must tell you, I am sorry I let so many people down. Including him. Including myself.
Life is an asshole.
I’ll write more soon! I just wanted to get a couple of things off my chest tonight. Love you all!!!
-Bonnie.
Bonnie’s Beach 🏖 