Bonnieโ€™s Beach ๐Ÿ–

My Life. My Experiences. My Love. My Words.

Be Like Sausage…

As I sit outside on my back porch, drinking my hot toddy while watching my fat cat attempt to catch the June bugs that are beginning to come out, I get to enjoy the warm evening air and the chance to think a bit. It’s true, what they say, life is a precious gift. It’s definitely not something I want to waste, but I also know I have spent many wasteful moments. I guess it’s part of the learning process, and you’re never done learning. I don’t want to be at the end of my days longing for all the wasted time. All those wasted hours that I could have been doing something more than what I did.

I love those infectious people with the unquenchable thirst for adventure and living. You know the ones. They always seem to have energy and go go go every day, and you wonder how they do it. I know I do! I wish I had that energy! That unfulfilled yearning to do everything possible! The want to constantly be on the move. Hell! Even the capability of being constantly on the move. How do they do it? They make it look so easy. So fluid. So natural. Like there’s no other way to be alive. I wish I had that passion and that drive and that ambition. How does one go about getting those things?

There are plenty of motivators out there in the world. There are people whose callings in life are helping others with finding theirs. There are places that inspire greatness. There are experiences that excite the soul to be more. To become more. And yet, how do we even run across these things? We’ll use me as an example. Here goes. So, I love to make people happy. I love seeing and being the cause for people to smile and laugh and for a second, forget whatever makes them unhappy. But that’s not my job. I don’t do that for a living. Part of what I enjoy about my job is that I get the opportunity to make the people I work with smile and laugh from time to time. But that can take work too. There are days when I am far far far, extremely fucking far from my usual, sunshiny self. There are days when I can’t even bring myself to smile, and those days make me feel even more terrible. Because, like I mentioned, I love making other people laugh and smile. And yes. I know I can’t be happy ALL the damn time, but it’s so defeating when I can’t even muster a smile for myself.

So how do these people do it? Are they just that good at hiding any emotion other than happiness? Are they seriously like this EVERY SINGLE DAY?! You hear that happiness is a choice. I mean, I’ve read it somewhere. It is. Definitely. But it’s a hard choice to make every day upon waking. There has to be a conscious effort, right? Sometimes the universe can throw some serious shit your way! Sometimes it feels impossible to be happy. But you know what? That’s ok. We don’t have to be happy ALL the fucking time. We are human. We can have bad days. It doesn’t make it any easier for those of us who would much rather be happy, but we are allowed to be imperfect and mopey and blah.

OK. I’ll stop there, because now it just sounds like I’m on some crazy, emotional rant about being human. Maybe I am. Maybe I’m tired of having to work at being happy. It’s not that I’m unhappy. I truly am happy! Just some days are so much easier than others. And there’s got to be a secret. Those go go go people have to have something figured out, and I just wish I knew what it was. Sometimes I wish I was like my cat Sausage. She’s a cat. I know. But I could learn a couple things from her. She’s fat and yet still active, and she couldn’t care less that she’s a tad grande. She lets her true intelligence shine through, and she may poop on the floor, but does she care what I think? Nope. Sausage does NOT care about the opinions of others! She definitely enjoys her cat food, but she will only eat solid white albacore tuna as a treat! So she obviously eats fine and indulges from time to time. I think I have that one down! Yay! Let’s see, what else. She sticks close to her family and does her best to “protect” us when an unknown comes to the door. By protect I mean she growls. Like actually growls. That is the extent of her guardcat status though. Because she runs away as soon as she sees the unknown. At least she lets me know when someone is walking up to the door. I mean, that’s pretty cool. She proves her loyalty and love to me every day. She may not cuddle with me, but she’s always there. She waits for me outside the shower. She lays at my feet at night. She lays at my feet on the couch. She hangs out near the kitchen when I cook. I mean. Such a simple life. Not a worry in the world! Well, ok. One worry. If the food bowl shows any sign of bowl at the bottom it’s panic mode time.

But seriously. I should be more like Sausage. Why worry about what others think? Why worry about anything more than if I have food and water and love? Basic necessities for all creatures. We humans just found ways to make it more and more complicated. I need to be more grateful for the things I have. For the limited time I have. For moments I shouldn’t have to worry about wasting, because they weren’t wasted. For the rare love that happens in life as a second chance. For the smiles I see on other people’s faces and the ones out in mine. Maybe that’s the secret. Until I know for sure I’ll just have to see what happens next and not waste my time. Until next time! ๐Ÿ˜‰

-Bonnie ๐Ÿ’™

Sausage. Be like her. ๐Ÿ˜Š

She’s squishy!

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Next Time Wind!!!

I love drinking and writing or writing and drinking or whatever. Somehow the creative juices about nothing start flowing, and the magic that has me extra talkative after a couple drinks makes my writing a little “loose-lipped”. So much randomness happens in life, and it’s easy to overlook some of the things that make life laughable at times. Such as me wearing dresses…

Those who know me know I am a fan of shorts (and pants), and that I see dresses and skirts as impractical. Because I mean, seriously, if you wear dental floss undergarments (like me), dresses flying up in the air in the breeze are NOT a good thing! Besides, what’s the point of wearing a skirt/dress if you’re practically wearing shorts already? Maybe it’s just me. Nah! I know I’m not alone on this one! But anyway, last week was a very special occasion. I wore a dress! I know!!! There’s no photographic evidence of this, so it’s hard to believe it’s true. I totally get it. But it DID happen! All fucking day I had to grab my dress, because anyone who has experienced Texas winds knows how relentless they can be. And you know what? Those winds don’t stop until they win. They won. Gotta give the wind credit. Wind=jerk. J-E-R-K! So it kept blowing, and I kept holding my dress down. I would bunch it around me, giving the wind my strongest finger, and I would win another battle. It wasn’t until the end of the evening I had to stop and get some gas. I swear I parked in some sort of wind tunnel, because there was a sudden gust and SWOOSH!!!! There goes my GD dress! Straight up!! My bare ass was visible to the world! So I backed myself up to my car as fast as I could, only able to hold the front down. My bare cheeks pressed against the side of my car, praying no one has seen me in this predicament. It wouldn’t stop! The wind was going to win the war! In what seemed like an eternity I had gathered my dress enough to pull it down to cover my ass. It was a miracle!!! I don’t think anyone saw me, but what an experience that was! Thank you, Universe, for reminding me why I don’t wear skirts/dresses. Ever. So awesome!

So there’s a fun bare-butt-cheeks-in-the-wind story! Hahahahaha!!!! Hope you enjoyed this quickie! I’ll write again soon!!!!!

-Bonnie ๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™

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Let Me (Re)Introduce Myself…

Hi!

My name is Bonnie. I am a lover of the ocean, the mountains, the desserts, the forests, the grasslands, you name it! I am a bit of a sun whore who will probably end up dying from it (I know, terrible). I love food! I love cooking food! I love eating food! I love reading and writing and painting and speed skating and stand up paddling and climbing and hiking and drinking and challenges and cryptograms and making people smile and my daughter and my mom and family and friends who are family and friends who are friends. I realized this list could go on for far too long, so I’ll just stop there. But I’m pretty sure you get the idea. I do and love and enjoy a lot of things in life!

I am a believer in balance. I don’t necessarily follow any religions, but I do have my beliefs. I was raised Christian, and grew up going to small (like seriously teeny tiny) Christian schools until high school. Lemme tell ya! That was a shock to the system! I had never seen a locker before! No joke! My classes had maybe up to 21 people in them. Then I go to a school where I have to change rooms, and there are 300+ fellow classmates. It was strange not knowing everyone in my class or classes or anything. This was the end of my innocence for sure!!!

So, graduated high school with honors. Failed at my first attempt at college. Joined the Army. Got out of that early (story for another time). Married. Child. Divorced. Single mom. School from time to time. Married. Moved to Hawaii. Moved back to Texas. Divorced. Single mom. Child moved in with her dad. Alone. Stupid boyfriends. Lived in car. Lost friends. Moved into apartment. Really stupid boyfriend. Child moves back in. No more stupid boyfriend. Finally earned my AAS degree! Moved with child. Single mom again. Awesome boyfriend who was my first love from high school!!! Not joking!!! Thought he was dead honestly. 20 year HS reunion had me Google his name. There he was. Messaged him on FB. He messaged back. C’est la vie! Due to his request for privacy, I won’t be writing much directly about him. That’s about all you’re getting for now. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Life is crazy for sure!!!!!

So, hi everyone! Even people who know me probably don’t know all of that, and it’s fun to share my randomness. I think that’s part of being human, passing down stories in general. Not that knowing more about me will do your life really any good, but it’ll help give you a base for any of my future posts. I had mentioned I believe in balance. That is a very huge part of who I am. Future posts will probably involve the misadventures of me trying to find my balance. I will do my best not to bore you, and fair warning: I have a crude sense of humor, and I swear a lot at times (especially if I’ve had a couple of adult beverages before I decide to write, or during, whatever), and I just want to make sure you know that before you get sucked in.

With that, I will try to get on here and write more often. This will be a sort of therapy for me like journaling. I may be brutally honest in some posts. Others might be pretty meh. The future holds so much adventure that I can’t wait to share with you!!!! Let’s see where we go!

-Bonnie ๐Ÿ’™

That is my mini me. Life would be boring without her!!!! Love my amazing Angel Pie!!! ๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™

Yes. I do realize that is missing an “a”.

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Just Felt Like It…

Not sure why I am still awake, let alone writing anything. It’s been a while. It’s normal now. I’m not sure I have anything super interesting to write about. I’m doing my best to keep my personal life just that. After the last failure I discovered I don’t have to put my life out there for appearances. I have also been trying to steer away from too much social media and pretty much been spending all of that cumulative time on Instagram. Not only do I have my personal profile, but I also put my cat Sausage out there for the world to see. Seriously though, check out Sausage the Cat. She’s fat and fluffy and has beautiful blue eyes.

But just so you know, I am incredibly happy! Life isn’t easy, but it’s good! Work is work, and it’s hard finding joy in it anymore. The main face and smile of the Sunshine Committee is finding it extremely difficult spreading the sunshine to others. I think I may have lost my spirit. But I’m still chugging along. Responsibilities come first. But seriously though, what have I been doing with my life? Not fulfilling my calling, that’s for sure!

Anyway, not to dull the shine anymore than I already have, that’s my quick update. Maybe I’ll write more soon. Maybe I won’t. Mother’s Day is this Sunday! So please thank your mom and give her a hug if she was an amazing mom. I know I was blessed with an amazing mom!!!! I don’t always show her, but she had better damn well know how much she is loved! Even when she doesn’t feel like she is. I need to do a much better job of reminding her, because I have been slacking in the good daughter department for sure! I love you, Mom! Plus I got two bonus moms! That’s a lot of love growing up! I couldn’t have asked for more!

-Bonnie

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