Bonnie’s Beach 🏖

My Life. My Experiences. My Love. My Words.

Been Distant…

So, as usual, I haven’t taken the time to write anything new, and I figured why not take a couple of minutes to say that I am still alive.  It’s funny reading my last post, as it claims I miss living in my car among some other things.  

Gotta admit…

…life is funny as shit!

A few things in my life have changed since that last post. For starters, I only have two cats.  Sadly I had to put my sweet Cali down. I had never had to put a pet to sleep before, and I cried like a baby.  You know, you think to yourself and wonder wtf is wrong with me. Why am I acting like this?  It’s just a cat!  But no matter how much I tried to dismiss my own feelings as being stupid, the waterworks and heartbreak kept coming. Truth is, she really was part of my little family at home, and I miss her everyday.  Going into work the next day was difficult, because you can hold yourself together, but here’s the kicker, until someone mentions and acknowledges your loss.  Why is that?  I might need to do some research, because I am curious, because it seems sympathy and empathy from others forces you to feel those emotions all over again.  The tearing up, the lump in the throat, the knowing that the water levels are at the rim and about to pour over, and you know you have to walk away or let them see you cry.  A couple people got to see me cry.  At work. And I am NOT a fan of crying at work.  It usually only happens when I am super pissed the fuck off.  That is rare though.  You don’t want to see me angry and crying. For one it’s just not right, and two it’s a sign that my magma levels are on the verge of exploding in your face. 

Moving on…

I got to have my mini-me ALL of Christmas break, minus a couple days, and it was AWESOME!!!!!!  I love my Madi!  She is growing up to be such an amazing young lady, and she makes me so proud!  We didn’t have an exciting winter break, because I had to work a few days in there, and we didn’t go out of town or anything, but we still had fun!  She made out like a bandit, as usual, and she even got a new recurve bow for Christmas ( my man’s idea!).  We did some target practice, celebrated three different Christmases and a New Year, and we got the chance to relax a bit here and there.  She got to spend some time with family and went to the Armed Forces game with a friend.  All in all it was a blast!  It was nice to get to spend actually quality time with my daughter and chat about life and watch movies and stay up late and sleep in in the morning.  We didn’t get a skate in, but we did start running after the New Year.  My legs hurt for a week!  Sadly I had to get back to work, and she had to get back to school.  Besides, it’s winter guard season!!!!

Ready for a big update?

Well, you don’t really have a choice…

My man asked me to move in with him!  This is scary!  And exciting!  And I had to ask if he was sure (this has been a sensitive topic).  And I am excited! And frightened!  But most of all excited!!!  There’s just so much to do though!  Most guys aren’t super organized, we ladies know this.  Lord knows I love to be organized, but then reality takes over (ok, laziness), and then everything just becomes organized chaos.  I mean, I know where things are.  I think.  Where the hell did I put that…

So yeah!  Moving in!  Huge step!  Lots of stuff to throw away and move and organize and donate!  So.  Much.  Crap.  Got my old bed out of storage and set it up at his house over the weekend.  I plan to go through stuff and grab a couple things from storage this weekend. Maybe pack some stuff up I don’t use right now. We shall see.  I’m just trying my best to not procrastinate.  I’ll let you know how that goes.  

But it’s scary, right?  I haven’t been on this particular end of things.   Normally it’s someone moves in with me, not me moving in with them.  And even though there is a slightly frightening aspect to it, I couldn’t be more optimistic and thrilled!  I love this man. He’s difficult and moody and stubborn, but I love him.  He is kind and loving and understanding. He shares and supports and helps.  We have plenty of life to go through, and infinite experiences to share together, and I have never looked forward to that before as I do now. I told him that I think we are just two people how have been hurt too many times before and sick of crappy people.  I think the universe finally got tired of torturing us and had us meet.   Yay!!!

There’s a lot more that has happened, but I think I’ll leave you with that; full of hope and love and excitement and a touch of fear.  

And I’ll be out of my apartment by March 1st.  So if anyone wants to help me pack, come on over.  I have alcohols!  And food! 😉

Love,

Bonnie 
I miss my sweet Calikins…  😔


Birthday breakfast!!!!  It’s very close to Christmas!  

My dad and second mom got me tickets to see Trans Siberian Orchestra for my birthday!  My man had to work, so I got to take the mini!!!!

She was just trying the bow out at this point.  We went and bought it for her while she was preoccupied.  😁

She Robin Hooded it the next time we went to go practice!  

Even I got some practice time in with my new bow!  Love it!!!

Pretty much how I felt after celebrating three Thanksgivings and three Christmases and my birthday and New Year!  Holy cow!  That’s Sausage btw.  I love my fat cat!  Yes!  I know it’s unhealthy!  Stop body shaming my cat!

So fat…     Little sausage casing…  😂😂

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It’s Something…

Yes.  I realize it has been a few months since my last post.  I have to admit, my writing might become a tad boring, but I’ll let you be the judge of all that.  I am thinking I need to update the blog since it no longer involves living in my vehicle. So where should I begin?  Should I start off with the good or the bad?  The happy or the sad?   How about I jut start with something?

So, the holidays have come and gone.  We have gone through Thanksgiving, my birthday, Christmas, New Year, and today, Groundhog Day.  Early Spring has been predicted if you weren’t in the know.  Keep up with the times people!  😉   Although here in Texas we have been having springlike weather for a while now, and I am really wishing it would be cold.  I mean, I love the warmth and the sun and all, but I have some really awesome boots that I would like to wear for a couple months.  Ridiculous.   Anyway, so I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season filled with love and family and happiness and joy.  I am still with the same incredible and wonderful guy that I have written about.  He has requested that I not bald on about his personal life, and I have agreed, but I will have to mention him from time to time since he is a part of my life.  I think he’s ok with that as long as I spare any details.  Let me just say this: he’s pretty fucking awesome, and I love the shit out of him!!!  😍😍😍😍😍

In other news, work he kept me busy.  I still pretty much do randomness, but that’s ok.  For now.  Maybe I don’t want to necessarily specialize in something, but then again, maybe I do. Maybe I need to. Maybe I need to broaden my horizons. Learn something new in the industry.  Not like you don’t learn something new nearly every day doing what I do, but I like to learn randomness everyday regardless.  One can never learn too much!  Life is full of so much information that it would be a shame to waste the opportunity.  

The mini me is doing extremely well.  She had her first winter guard competition a couple weekends ago, and they won first place!  So proud of her and all the girls!  They have their second one this weekend, and I am excited to see them in their costumes since they didn’t have them for the first one.   Should be pretty cool!  She also has a new boy interest in her life.  I continue to remind her that she has time, and that she still has to keep school and colorguard as her priorities.  She understands, but I also know that the closer they get the harder it is to keep your concentration.   She will learn.  Everyone does.  And let me tell you, the struggle is real!

Spring break is coming up next month, and I couldn’t be more excited!!! We are heading out to Angel Fire, NM for a few days!!!  It’s my man’s family’s annual vacation, and the mini and I get to go.  What’s even more exciting is that one of the mini’s best friends gets to come with us!!!!  That makes me super happy since she will be entertained and get to hang out with someone her own age.  That will make the whole trip so much better for her, plus I love hanging out with those two, and they are great at making me laugh.   Yay!!!!

Other than all that I am getting back into a gym routine after being lazy a couple months and being sick for one of those.  I didn’t really work out for a while there and enjoy far too much of the good the holidays offered.  But let me tell you, it was delicious and almost worth it!  Sadly I need to drop some weight again since I gained about 16 pounds.  Yeah. Yikes!!!!  So I am back at the attempting to eat healthy and work out at five a week.  Wish me luck!  

On that note, I am trying to keep my eyes open and not pass out.  So now I am going to pass out.  I hope you enjoyed the quick blurb about the happenings in my life.  I have a ton more to share, but it’ll have to wait until tomorrow or something.  Have a good night and sweet dreams.  Ciao!

-Bonnie ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

   
    

 

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I’m Sorry.

So it’s been a while since I’ve written, and I have received some major grief about it. You know who you are! 😉 It actually makes me feel pretty good knowing my friends and family kinda miss me. So I suppose I have a lot of writing to do today in order to get everything caught up. Here goes.

I left off on December 14th, in San Francisco. I had gotten to my beach, driven over the Golden Gate and checked into my hotel in Pleasanton. It was a pretty awesome day! The next morning I had a horn demo to do for work. I had never done one. Just so you know what the heck I am talking about, the company I work for designs and installs quiet zones and wayside horn systems (only one of many things they do). Basically it’s a horn that is aimed directly toward road traffic to sound for the train as it approaches a crossing. This directs the sound of the horn blowing to the vehicles needing to stop, rather than having the train blow his horn as he comes into town, generally blasting homes and businesses with a high number of decibels and plain old noise. So this takes some coordination with the railroads and towns and contractors. I was a bit nervous to say the least, but it turned out to be an amazing experience. Not only did I get to meet and work with some great people, it was incredible seeing the people who lived in the town come out to hear the demo. It was greatness! And I totally understand! I lived pretty much under an airport, and you get used to that, no problem, but I couldn’t imagine trying to live next to a set of tracks hearing that train horn multiple times a day. I have been miles away and could still hear that damn whistle. It’s faint, but it’s still there.

Anyway, enough about that. I was told I needed to stay through that Tuesday. The demo was on Monday. I had nothing to do that next day. I asked my boss what he wanted me to do. His response was to have fun. My idea of fun was driving to San Jose. I was excited. I had never been there! The buildings were quite pretty, but I’m a sucker for those lovely, blue windows. This city looked nice. I should have a good time here right? Wrong! What the F was I thinking?! San Jose sucked!!!! After walking around to grab something to eat and explore the city a bit, let’s just say I was less than impressed. What a shit hole! I would have been better off sleeping in and watching a movie. So I decided to drive back up to San Fran! At least there are things to do there. Besides, I was hungry! Really effing hungry!

On my way up to SF, I got to drive by the ballpark. I should have stopped, but I was on a mission for sustenance. I made it back over to Pier 39. At the end of the pier was a sushi place! Mouth was a watering! I ordered up some sushi, a bottle of nigori sake, and enjoyed my view overlooking the bay. It was quite nice. After perusing the shops on the pier, I decided to head back over to Pleasanton. I had a super early flight the next morning, and I needed to get back to pack and get some sleep. Everyone else seemed to want to leave the city too! At the same, effing, time!!!!!! Awesome!!! I will never live in a big city unless I never plan to drive out of it! Ridiculous!!! I was engulfed in stupidity, and I couldn’t get out!!!!!! I was talking to my mom on the phone, hands free of course, and she got to hear the frustration. Sorry mom. It was like being thrown into some lawless, Mad Max society, where no traffic laws truly existed and the only way to get out was to just be a jerk driver. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em! So I did! Took me two hours to get back to the hotel. Two. Hours!!!!!!!! It was only supposed to be a 45 minute drive. It could have been worse, I know, but still. Stupid!

So blah blah blah, I flew back home, worked a couple hours that day. Worked all day Thursday. Dentist appointment on Friday. Missed the company Christmas party due to being on Vicodin and recovering from twilight anesthesia. Anyone who knows me knows I am not a fan of dentists. After having multiple teeth pulled as a child and years of bad braces experience, I get nervous. I don’t do well with hands and needles and drills in my mouth, so it’s either nitrous or twilight. I prefer the twilight. I don’t want to know what’s going on. I can’t cry if I’m oblivious. Seriously. I don’t cry cry. Just the tear streaming thing. Like crying when I’m super mad. I can’t help it. I know I’m fine, but they just start flowing. I’m prepared for that whole zombie apocalypse, bring it on. But any dental work will have to be done after someone hits me over the head with a rock or something. So now you know my anxiety caused by dentistry. Yea!!!!

This brings us up to the week of Christmas. My birthday is two days before that. I get taken out for my birthday on Monday by my dad and second mom and my mini-me and her step-brother. It was a good evening. Had some great Mexican food at Los Asaderos. I had never eaten there, and I must say it was quite delicious. Those were some good margaritas! We headed back to their house for an early Christmas. They weren’t going to be in town and wanted to give gifts early, and it was a great feeling getting to unload the gift I had bought two months prior for my stepmom. Finally!!! Yea!!!!!!!!! My dad will get his after he gets back from Missouri. He wouldn’t have been able to put it to good use before heading out of town anyway. Went to work the next day (my b-day) and had a birthday lunch with my buddy José and wiring mentor, Tina (she taught me how to wire and read prints and a lot of other cool things). Hadn’t seen her in a long time, so that was pretty awesome! Got back to the office to see that they decided to close at noon. Noon! There goes my getting stuff out that day. Oh well. I have next week. It was still a good day though. Got to drag my munchkin with me to the office. Got some great b-day calls. Drove down to my mom’s for birthday lasagna made by mom, and pumpkin bread and cream cheese icing made from scratch by my sister. Mmmmmmmmm… One of my best friends drove an hour to give me my birthday gift on my birthday. So that made my b-day even better! All in all, I had a great day!!!!!!

So Christmas was a day away. I needed to do some last second shopping and run a couple errands. My big Christmas gift to myself was getting in touch with my old trainer and meeting up with him. I’ll be starting my training after the new year with a new trainer named Kyle. My old one is now a club manager and no longer trains others. 😦
The past couple of years I have been going downhill. I sit in front of a computer at work, pretty much all day, and I am so tired from doing nothing, that I pretty much stick with that routine for the rest of the day. It’s almost as if I’d lost my zest for living. The lazier I got, the less I wanted to get out and do the things I loved. It’s gotten to the point where I have shut out most of the outside world. Not a good place to be. I may not like being around people very much, but I need to spend time with friends and family and get out. Yes. I have gotten to travel and get out and explore, but it’s been alone. It’s lonely trying to have fun by yourself. I am no social butterfly, and I have no problem eating out or having a drink at a bar alone, but it’s always nice being able to share experiences with others. If I keep it up, this blog may be the only way I’ll really share anything anymore. Pretty pathetic, huh? On top of all that, numerous studies show you can extend your life by having a good sense of community and friendships with others. Then I get overwhelmed trying to find a group to join to maybe at least make some buddies and get out more. It’s stupid! Anyway, enough about my ridiculous self-pity moments. It’s a vicious cycle!

My mom’s Christmas gift was Italian beef ordered from Portillo’s in Chicago, and damn that was good!!!! Madi had never had an Italian beef sandwich before. My sister had never experienced Portillo’s. That was some damn good food!!!!! I think we started a new holiday tradition!!! I am totally down with it! Screw traditional dinner! Portillo’s!!!! Yeah!!!!!

So now I bring you up to today. A cold front came through. It be chilly! Still hanging at my mom’s. We are going to make it a movie day and head out this afternoon, but for now we’re all just lounging around. It’s nice. Cali is keeping my toes warm. 🙂 Harley is keeping the mini-me warm. Baby Kitty is off somewhere being her ADD self. Trust me. She is the most easily distracted creature I have ever seen! I love my hairy kids, and I love the half version of me currently sitting in the living room. 🙂

I won’t be in my car for a while. I’ll be adding a bunch of miles this week to it, but there won’t be much sleeping in it until mid January. I’ll continue writing and attempting to keep you entertained. I hope everyone had a great Christmas with their loved ones!! I’ll talk to you soon! Ciao!

-B

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Almost a Week!!!!!!!! Oh Noooooooo…

I don’t think you have missed me too badly since I haven’t gotten crap from anyone asking why I hadn’t written lately. Well ok, maybe my mom said something about it, but I have been spending quite a bit of time with her lately, and she’s been up to date on everything anyway. I think I slept in my car maybe once the past six days which I had been missing. Tonight I was going to stay at my dad’s, but the weather isn’t crazy cold so may as well sleep in my own cave. 🙂

After doing this for a month I realize I have brought too much crap with me in my car and plan on dumping some of it off at storage. I have also realized that I am still just as lazy as before and desperately need to start working out again. Like really. Really need to start running again and doing the standard push ups and core stuff along with some squats. I know what I need to do. I’m just lazy. Really lazy… Not a good thing! I am thinking maybe getting a trainer just to get me back into it may help. That whole accountability thing works for me. I have no problem letting myself down, but I don’t like letting others down, if that makes any sense. To my brain it totally works. Now I just need to stop procrastinating and buy some sessions. Lazy lazy lazy. I got that down to a fine art! 😉

This has been a pretty good week. Got to work out in the field doing some wiring at a crossing. That was fun! Nice to get out from behind my computer. And speaking of computers, I finally got my new work computer, a laptop, so when I travel or feel extremely under the weather, I can still work!!! It’s quite nice actually! Yay!!!! I ordered my iPhone 6 and should get that soon. Going to get my daughter’s Christmas presents all bought. 🙂 I have an appointment to get my hair done on Thursday. Hopefully flying out to Cali on Friday for a horn demo next Monday. Today my best friend had a Christmas/holiday dinner party, and that was fun. I have a good bit going this month. Weird that it’s so busy though. Not complaining, but I still can’t get over the weirdness factor of it all. Hmmmmm…

Anyway, I need to get an early night tonight and catch up on my sleep. I have a super early day tomorrow and a lot to get done. Wish me luck! So on that note have a wonderful night and sweet dreams to you. 🙂

-B

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