Bonnie’s Beach 🏖

My Life. My Experiences. My Love. My Words.

Long Time, No Write…

on December 16, 2017

Yes. It’s been quite a long while since I had last written. I know a few of you have been disappointed in my lack of communication. I must tell you, I have missed writing. I have missed sharing my life and emotions and experiences with you! But I have also been respecting another’s wishes, because they were uncomfortable with my writing about anything personal. Sadly, my life is a tad personal, and I respectfully quit writing. On a heartbreaking note, I am no longer with my writer’s block. It’s amazing how extra sad that becomes when I type it out. It’s always one thing to have it in your head. It’s another to see it before you.

I am heartbroken that my life, yet again, did not go according to plan. I had written about it before. I thought I had learned my lesson. Don’t plan. Just do. And yet, here I am, in a place I never planned to be, in a life I never foresaw, in a status I never thought I’d have to endure again. I thought id be happily married soon! I saw it!!! I saw it all in my head! So why am I not living that vision?! Why am I alone again?! Why am I here again?! What in the fuck does the universe want from me?!?!

I won’t get into the reasons why I am single again, but there is always later. I will talk about it when emotions aren’t so fresh. I know I am some heartless bitch of a woman with terrible timing. I’m sure that no one has heard the best about me. I’m sure my side of the story would only feel like a pathetic attempt to keep whatever ground I am left standing on. I must tell you, I am sorry I let so many people down. Including him. Including myself.

Life is an asshole.

I’ll write more soon! I just wanted to get a couple of things off my chest tonight. Love you all!!!


5 responses to “Long Time, No Write…

  1. Dread Piirate Roberts says:

    Well I was wondering what happened to those wonderful rail memes. Life doesn’t go as planned, sometimes you fall in love with the wrong people, sometimes it’s the right champ but the wrong time. Timing is everything as they say. I have had my share to loss in my life, just this past year I’ve had to attend 6 funerals 2 of which where people I considered mentors.
    I know you have not asked for advice, but I shall bestow some anyway. In time of heartbreak and loss comfort yourself in those you love and those that love you. Tomorrow is not always promised

    I look forward to more railroad meme’s in the near future.


    Liked by 1 person

  2. Kindashy says:

    I find myself speechless at this moment, and you know how me n my words are…..
    Don’t wanna make you well up here but know that love, sincerity and appreciation constantly surround you at every turn…..even when not outwardly obvious….
    You will overcome this hurdle and it will become but a thread of your fabric…! You’re a Trooper of the highest class!
    Just keep your music close and your family closer…………..

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Alex Scavello says:

    Bon Bon, anyone who could ever think of you as a “heartless bitch” is out of their freaking mind. You are one of the most caring, compassionate, patient, loving, strong, and smartest people I’ve ever known. We all have our bad days, lord knows I do. But I could never and would never be able to even consider convincing myself to see you in that light, and I know I am not the only one. I don’t know what was going on at this time but I’m slowly catching up there with reading, but don’t be so hard on yourself for being human.

    Liked by 1 person

    • oceangrrrl says:

      This was when I ended my last relationship. There were a couple of other posts I actually ended up deleting, because I just didn’t want that negativity as a reminder in a place where I like to express my life. So, believe me, there was someone who thought I was as heartless as they come.


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