Bonnie’s Beach 🏖

My Life. My Experiences. My Love. My Words.

Wait!  I’m An Adult?!

It’s funny!  To me anyway. Every year we celebrate our birthdays.  We celebrate aging another year, and as we celebrate the fact that we were brought into this world to share our awesomeness, we realize how mortal we are.  It hits us harder each year that we are creeping closer and closer to our death.  Eventually our birthdays become celebrations that we actually made it a whole, entire year. Maybe without breaking a hip or having a joint replaced.  

I bring this up, because well, at the wise age of 36, I am creeping up on my “middle” age, and I finally realized I am an adult.  Yes.  I have been a mom for the past 15 1/2 years, but not even that made me feel adultish. That just made me feel like a mom.  I may have worked in the same industry on and off again since high school for an accumulated 13 or so years, but even that didn’t make me feel like an adult.  At least, not until recently.  Lemme splain.  I am no expert in what I do.  I will never ever ever ever ever ever claim to know everything.  Ever!  There is always so much to learn and expand on in whatever my field is.  I mean, how can you know it all if you don’t even know exactly what you are/do?  Anyway, off topic.  Back on track. See what I did there?  Yeah you did!

So!  I know a few things in my field.  I have experienced a few things in my field.  I have figured out a few things in my field.  This has made me slightly knowledgeable.  Scary thought!  I kid!  Knowing the odd things that I do, prompts other people to ask me questions about my thoughts and opinions on certain things that I have experience with.  That!  That has made me realize I am an adult.  It has also made me realize I am quite a bit older than some people I work with, but enough about that.  My aging is inevitable.  Being asked what I would do, that made me feel important in a way.  That I might actually know something and be able to contribute to someone or something else.  Maybe that should have made me feel more like an active member of society and the team I work with, but no.  It made me realize I have adulted.  I have evolved into a full adult.  There’s no going back now.  I can’t reverse that thinking even though I want to at times. 

This I’m-an-adult-now thinking has followed me to family events and haunts my daily activities.  I am no longer a “kid” at family functions. A realization I hate to admit, because the kids get to have the most fun!  Duh!  Adults have fun too, I know, but the kids don’t have to clean up and do dishes and blah blah blah. You know what I am saying.  Yes.  Alcohol can make those things more enjoyable, but still.  I’m trying to cut way down on the imbibing.  

Yeah.  Work is what started this whole train of thought.  Ha!  I did it again.  If you didn’t know by now, I work in the railroad industry.  Now you’ll get ALL the jokes!  Hahaha!!!!  Sucker!  Anyway, work.  Work got this rolling along.  I mean, it’s not like I never took my job seriously before I was struck with adultom, it just wasn’t seen that way.  It wasn’t made visible yet to me that my opinion actually has some merit from time to time.  I’m sure people talk badly behind my back now and again, but I am also sure some people tell others to ask me whatever question it is they have just asked.  It’s just funny to realize it one, random day out in the shop.  I had been asked numerous questions by that same person, but that one time was different somehow.    Now my thinking has forever changed.  I may not always act like an adult, but now I can’t deny that I am one.  It sort of sucks.  

With that I will let all the youngins continue their adulting.  Now I just get to whine that I don’t want to adult.  Period.   My “ing” has aged without grace. 

-Bonnie
Me in my twenties:

…and that flower looks like it could be a questionable emoji. 😂😂😂
Thirties:

How I feel about being a full-blown adult:

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Been Distant…

So, as usual, I haven’t taken the time to write anything new, and I figured why not take a couple of minutes to say that I am still alive.  It’s funny reading my last post, as it claims I miss living in my car among some other things.  

Gotta admit…

…life is funny as shit!

A few things in my life have changed since that last post. For starters, I only have two cats.  Sadly I had to put my sweet Cali down. I had never had to put a pet to sleep before, and I cried like a baby.  You know, you think to yourself and wonder wtf is wrong with me. Why am I acting like this?  It’s just a cat!  But no matter how much I tried to dismiss my own feelings as being stupid, the waterworks and heartbreak kept coming. Truth is, she really was part of my little family at home, and I miss her everyday.  Going into work the next day was difficult, because you can hold yourself together, but here’s the kicker, until someone mentions and acknowledges your loss.  Why is that?  I might need to do some research, because I am curious, because it seems sympathy and empathy from others forces you to feel those emotions all over again.  The tearing up, the lump in the throat, the knowing that the water levels are at the rim and about to pour over, and you know you have to walk away or let them see you cry.  A couple people got to see me cry.  At work. And I am NOT a fan of crying at work.  It usually only happens when I am super pissed the fuck off.  That is rare though.  You don’t want to see me angry and crying. For one it’s just not right, and two it’s a sign that my magma levels are on the verge of exploding in your face. 

Moving on…

I got to have my mini-me ALL of Christmas break, minus a couple days, and it was AWESOME!!!!!!  I love my Madi!  She is growing up to be such an amazing young lady, and she makes me so proud!  We didn’t have an exciting winter break, because I had to work a few days in there, and we didn’t go out of town or anything, but we still had fun!  She made out like a bandit, as usual, and she even got a new recurve bow for Christmas ( my man’s idea!).  We did some target practice, celebrated three different Christmases and a New Year, and we got the chance to relax a bit here and there.  She got to spend some time with family and went to the Armed Forces game with a friend.  All in all it was a blast!  It was nice to get to spend actually quality time with my daughter and chat about life and watch movies and stay up late and sleep in in the morning.  We didn’t get a skate in, but we did start running after the New Year.  My legs hurt for a week!  Sadly I had to get back to work, and she had to get back to school.  Besides, it’s winter guard season!!!!

Ready for a big update?

Well, you don’t really have a choice…

My man asked me to move in with him!  This is scary!  And exciting!  And I had to ask if he was sure (this has been a sensitive topic).  And I am excited! And frightened!  But most of all excited!!!  There’s just so much to do though!  Most guys aren’t super organized, we ladies know this.  Lord knows I love to be organized, but then reality takes over (ok, laziness), and then everything just becomes organized chaos.  I mean, I know where things are.  I think.  Where the hell did I put that…

So yeah!  Moving in!  Huge step!  Lots of stuff to throw away and move and organize and donate!  So.  Much.  Crap.  Got my old bed out of storage and set it up at his house over the weekend.  I plan to go through stuff and grab a couple things from storage this weekend. Maybe pack some stuff up I don’t use right now. We shall see.  I’m just trying my best to not procrastinate.  I’ll let you know how that goes.  

But it’s scary, right?  I haven’t been on this particular end of things.   Normally it’s someone moves in with me, not me moving in with them.  And even though there is a slightly frightening aspect to it, I couldn’t be more optimistic and thrilled!  I love this man. He’s difficult and moody and stubborn, but I love him.  He is kind and loving and understanding. He shares and supports and helps.  We have plenty of life to go through, and infinite experiences to share together, and I have never looked forward to that before as I do now. I told him that I think we are just two people how have been hurt too many times before and sick of crappy people.  I think the universe finally got tired of torturing us and had us meet.   Yay!!!

There’s a lot more that has happened, but I think I’ll leave you with that; full of hope and love and excitement and a touch of fear.  

And I’ll be out of my apartment by March 1st.  So if anyone wants to help me pack, come on over.  I have alcohols!  And food! 😉

Love,

Bonnie 
I miss my sweet Calikins…  😔


Birthday breakfast!!!!  It’s very close to Christmas!  

My dad and second mom got me tickets to see Trans Siberian Orchestra for my birthday!  My man had to work, so I got to take the mini!!!!

She was just trying the bow out at this point.  We went and bought it for her while she was preoccupied.  😁

She Robin Hooded it the next time we went to go practice!  

Even I got some practice time in with my new bow!  Love it!!!

Pretty much how I felt after celebrating three Thanksgivings and three Christmases and my birthday and New Year!  Holy cow!  That’s Sausage btw.  I love my fat cat!  Yes!  I know it’s unhealthy!  Stop body shaming my cat!

So fat…     Little sausage casing…  😂😂

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I am NOT a Fucking, Crazy, Cat Woman!!!

Seriously though, this is fucking irritating when it is brought up!  Basic conversation goes something like this:

“I have three cats,”

“You have THREE CATS?!”

“Well, I had two, but my mom didn’t want the one she had, because her dog keeps trying to eat it, and now the cat won’t come out anymore.  So my mom says she won’t get rid of the dog, and I need to get the cat. No biggie.”

“You’re becoming a crazy cat lady!”

Chuckle. Chuckle. Chuckle. 

Yeah.  Real fucking funny, dickwad. 

People don’t always know the back story to why people are a certain way or why they have the pets they do.  Maybe I am a tad crazy, and my cats remind me of this everyday.  They remind me that what I thought was going to be a happily ever after turned out to be singly ever after instead.  And who got left with the cats?  I did. Me. I wasn’t heartless enough to leave them behind with some loser. They weren’t man enough to take their pet with them. Reminders.  That’s what they are. Every. Single. Day.  

Pets are family, and they are usually brought into homes to extend the family already there.  They are symbols of happiness and love and whatever else people want to make them to be.  Sometimes they are companions when you are living alone.  Sometimes they are the children you can’t have.  Sometimes they are the friends you need to unload all your problems on, because they won’t give you shitty advice or give you those what-the-fuck-are-you-doing-with-your-pathetic-life looks.  Maybe a weird facial expression filled with confusion, but they don’t judge you. They listen and then want to be petted, or they want to curl up in your lap, or they just want to poop on your shoulder, or maybe they just want to munch on some lettuce or swim in circles.  Swimming unjudgingly.  

I’m not trying to sound all whiny or anything, because not everyone knows how the words they speak affect others.  I’m sure I have offended countless others by the things that have rolled off my tongue.  Only after they come spewing out do I realize that what I just said might be taken entirely wrong.  I am a sensitive person. I am easily affected by the words of others.  I try to be as rubbery as I can, but some people can just be dicks with their choice of words.  We all know this.  When I am not in a shitty mood, I can take it, and I can dish t right back, but there are those days when seemingly everyone sucks ass.  

But back to the reminders that pets are…

I sort of took a left turn to nowhere back there.  Whoops.  

Anyway, reminders.  Almost forgot. 😉

I love my cats.  I don’t really see them as the horrible reminders that they truly are.  They are there to pure me asleep (and awake, little assholes), and they take every opportunity to be right in my face when I am trying to wash it or put makeup on (assholish thing to do…), and they talk to me every chance they get (usually for food, attention or just to be annoying assholes at 3am), and they are always there to cuddle with me (I love picking them up and squeezing the shit out of them. I get to be an asshole too).  Sometimes I do feel like they hold me back.  I wish I could live in my car again.  I really do.  It was nice to have such a change from reality.  It took me out of my comfort zone.  It forced me to get out and do more.  Now I just feel like I do nothing. 

At least I have my three cats with me when I am home to help make me feel less crazy.  🐈

-Bonnie

This is Harley, because she purrs like one. She’s the re-addition and was originally 2 of 3.  

This is Sausage, because she is fat.  3 of 3. 

This is Cali Lily. She was adopted inHawaii on Kauai.  First of three. 

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Happiness

Why is happiness so hard to hold onto?!  You see people who always seem to be happy on the outside.  They’re always friendly and smiling and ready to cheer everyone up, and they just make it look like the universe is in their corner. I try to be that person.  I try so hard.  But inside it is a typhoon of darkness and sadness and worries and stress and tears.  

Some people say happiness is a choice.  I agree.  It is a choice.  But damn if it isn’t one of the hardest ones.  It’s so easy to trip and fall into unhappiness. It’s so much easier to sink and sulk and pity yourself.  So why?  Why is something that is so incredibly good for you and everyone around you so difficult to achieve?  Why is it so much easier to let the mind wander into unhappiness when happiness is just around the corner?  Why does the corner seem so far away at times?  Ugh!  

I don’t have anything to be unhappy about.  Ok, well, I do, but I can choose to ignore it, right?  Does ignoring the things that make you unhappy keep you happy?  Of course that doesn’t work!  Ignoring it allows it to continue to fester and grow and creep in and then poke you constantly.  Yet it is seemingly easier to ignore it than fix it.  Why do some of us struggle with fixing the bad to make ourselves happier?  Is it denial?  Is it fear?  Is it ignorance?  Is it a combination of all of that and more?   

So I ask you, what makes you happy?  What helps keep you from focusing on the crap that can so easily turn your smile into a frown?  What is your secret?  I don’t want to be sad, and I don’t want to be grumpy, and I don’t want to whine about things when I can make it better.  I’m just curious.  I realize everyone has their own happy to find. I know one of my “happies”, but it isn’t feasible most of the time.  Let me know!

-Bonnie


From a recent trip to Long Island, NY. 

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Small Addictions…

They seem to run freely in my life. I go through random waves of things like eating sushi for a month, get sick of it, then go on a Ceasar salad rampage for a month, get sick of it etc. etc.  I’ve even gone through ditching coffee for tea!  I always go back to coffee at some point though.  They are more intense than just cravings, and cravings seem to be a one and done sort of experience. But these, these I would classify as a temporary case of insanity.

Perhaps this mentality is why I have always got to find a new adventure or try a new hobby or learn more or do more!  I have noticed that my past is made up of short lived experiences.  One right after another.  Even my relationships have been this way.  I am at the point in my life now that I can clearly see why there has been a constant need for newness and the resulting failures that occur. Now I know how to stop it.  Now I know what to expect.  I am determined to follow through.  Even though fear of the future still seems to be a small issue, I take that as normal.  The future is uncertain, and I believe that is something we can all agree on.  I learned long ago that life does NOT go according to plan.  Especially for me!  I can’t complain though!  All of my non plans seem to lead me in the right direction.  Let’s just say I love the direction my personal non plan life path is going.  Why plan?!  Just go with the flow.  Live in the now. Learn from the past to be prepared for the future, but come back to the now without fear.  Don’t resist the uncertain.  Love with everything you’ve got!  I am putting my entire heart into the future, and I recommend anyone who can, should!

Thank you for reading gibberish.  I’ve been going through more of a painting than writing phase. It too shall pass, and then I’ll probably be trying to learn to play a trumpet or something.  Who knows!  Maybe I’ll paint something good besides my stand up paddle board I repainted and plan on sealing tomorrow.  You never know.  Why plan it?  😉

Nighty night!

-Bonnie
Figured I’d post a couple pics of random.

That is the new board painting.

Working in the field in Ohio about a month ago.

If you don’t get this you’re probably just too young to get the awesomeness!


My current other temporary addiction. The last one was Not Your Father’s Rootbeer.

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Crazy!!!

That!  Right there!  Explains life!  Does it not?  Is life just not absolutely crazy?!  I mean, it can be crazy good or crazy bad or just absolutely, batshit insane.  It’s all the same anyway.  We even start off in a crazy way.  We came out of our moms, and look at what we are now.  No way we can ever go back.  It’s far, far too late for that.  

Then we learn how to walk and talk and hold a cup without spilling it (only because they’re spill proof, which we need more of in the adult stage) and feed ourselves with a stick with even smaller sticks at the end of it (or seriously two sticks), and we just keep learning all these crazy things.  For example, there were dinosaurs.  There were large, reptilian creatures, that would eat us, and thankfully they died, because nowadays, I wouldn’t even want to go up against a Komodo dragon.  Saliva that will slowly bring your body functions to a halt so it can start eating you?  Oh hell no!  Craziness!!!!  

After we learn about dinosaurs and how to add and subtract and successfully complete long division (math=crazy, logical language), there’s calculus and gravitational pulls and chemical explosions and antimatter.  OK. That shit right there is crazy enough.  Black holes=crazy.  Women=crazy.  Men=oh yeah!  They’re crazy too!  We are all crazy to some extent of the word.  This is something I tell guy friends when they have lady issues: every woman is crazy, but not every woman is nice.  It works the same way with men.  We are all wired differently.  Hormones make us crazy.  Household chores make us crazy.  Getting up every single day to do the same damn thing makes us crazy.  Changing plans makes us crazy.  Other people make us crazy!!!!!!!  

So how do we dig our way out of the craziness???  Do I have the answer?  Probably not, and no.  This isn’t an infomercial or ploy to get you to click somewhere to buy some magical pill.  If there was a magical pill to make life all unicorns, rainbows and glitter, you bet your ass I’d be buying it.  And who wouldn’t?  Who wouldn’t want a life like that?  Ah. Now that is the ultimate question.  There are a lot of people who wouldn’t want a magic pill of fabulous living.  And to be honest, I really wouldn’t want it either, but it sounds pretty damn fantastical.  And besides, I can go get a beer on an empty stomach for a quick bout of euphoria.  As long as I don’t eat or drink too many more of those tasty beverages, I can stay in that state for a nice while.  😉

You want to know who these people are?  The ones who would rather feel all the crap life can throw at you instead of only feeling the good?  I swear, they’re not unicorns.   In fact you might be one of them. Yes!  You!  Maybe you know how awesome you are.  Maybe you haven’t been through anything hard enough to make you rethink those magic pills. Perhaps you have been through all those struggles, and they helped you realize that without them, you couldn’t fully appreciate the good that life has to offer.  That’s the kicker.  That’s life’s ultimate mind fuck right there!  You can’t fully appreciate or understand all the good things until you have experienced and learned from the bad.  

Here’s my theory.  You ready?  I think life is all about balance.  Tes.  I have mentioned this in a previous post. There is good and evil all over the world.  Now, nature wouldn’t classify it.  Nature is indifferent and doesn’t give a shit about good or bad.  Do you understand that?  Indifference.  This planet can kill us in an instant, and yet we still believe we have the power to stop whatever it throws our way.  In the balance of nature, you survive and keep going.  If something bad happens, well, guess you just got too close to that gator’s mouth or that volcano just felt like exploding in the middle night with an ash cloud that suffocated everything within a mile of it. Hey!  It’s life!  But back to my point, we humans think we are all sorts of better than Mother Nature.  We have defined the harsh side of nature as bad or evil, and the surviving part we call good.  It’s balance.  Global warming?  We may kill off half the animals of the world, but nature will adapt and evolve. Crazy, right?  I ask that, because most likely we’d be dead.  

That is exactly what we need to do in life though. Adapt and evolve.  Physically and mentally we can do this.  We are stronger than we give ourselves credit for (NOT stronger than Mother Nature).  We don’t need a magic pill to make us believe everything will be ok.  Everything WILL be ok.  We can change ourselves physically in nearly every way we can imagine.  Sadly we cannot have genetically altered dolphin tails created for us so we can become mermaids.  This does sadden me a bit.  We can change ourselves mentally as well!  Crazy!!!!!!!

Why do I believe everything will be OK?  Even when I have hit rock bottom time and time again?  Believe me, I’ve been down there with the catfish on multiple occasions, and maybe that’s why I don’t eat them.  Hmmmmm.   Anyway, I have learned through enough life experiences that life is the ultimate teacher.  Divorce, death, being broke, sick, starting over, lost, depressed, confused, tired, angry, and that’s just the bad stuff.  Those things all helped me realize that the good things I have experienced are quite amazing!  Marriage, love, children (even though sometimes you want to put this on the bad list), happiness, helping others, surviving with a smile, and did I mention love?   Love is one of the most powerful weapons in your daily living arsenal.  It should be used every day!   Learn to love the little things in life that make you smile.  Yes. I understand this can be very difficult in some situations, like Christmas shopping at the mall, spoiled brats in line at the check out, drivers that can’t seem to stay in their designated, clearly marked lanes, losing a limb or normal body function (keep away from the Komodos). Yep.  I get it.  But.  But!  Those are the things that help keep you away from the magic pills.  The small things.  The small miracles you easily overlook while surviving. 

When life decides to be an asshole, deal with it as you must.  Cry.  Scream.  Yell.  Throw something.  Write a nasty letter. Feel the pain.  Feel the hurt.  Feel the knife in your heart or in your back.  Then, when you’re ready, reflect on it.  Why did it happen?  The real reason!  Don’t sugarcoat it.  Feel the rawness of the situation and then draw upon that to learn your lesson.  You have to learn it in order to adapt and evolve.  When you can clearly see the cause of the pain and begin to understand it, that is when a lesson is learned.  Once learned, be sure it is applied.  Once applied, you can start seeing your own rainbows.  Life can become more sparkly.   You might even see a unicorn.  Might.  Key word there.  Otherwise other people might believe you truly are crazy.  

It’s all about finding your balance.  Learning lessons from your past can make your future even better.  Appreciate those little things.  Appreciate the bad things, because they made you who you have become.  Live today with everything you got.  Live in the now.  You never know when everything and everyone around will be gone for good.  Let things be.  Stop worrying.  Enjoy this minute.  And the next minute.  And the next. Crazy, right?

-Bonnie

Of course I have to add some randomness!!!  Enjoy these little things!!


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Yay Boobies!  I Mean, Yay National Women’s Day!!!

Well howdy!  This is just a quick blurb of a questionnaire I was asked to fill out to celebrate National Women’s Day.  An edited version was posted for company (CTC Inc) social media!  Enjoy the unedited version!  

How long have you worked in the rail industry?
I have worked in the rail industry since 2004, although I pretty much grew up in it. Long ago, back in the day, when I was young, the regulations weren’t as strict as they are now. There were plenty of summer days of jumping on the motorized rail cart, visiting crossings, and helping with their maintenance.
Seriously, I painted mechs when I was like 8.
What drew you to a “nontraditional” work environment?
I’m already “nontraditional”, and I am not a fan of what I consider boring work. I like the strange, uniqueness of what I do, and it has allowed me to better myself outside of the office.
What challenges or obstacles did you face in the beginning? And now?
In the beginning I learned wiring. I had never used a drill or worked with electricity or really done any work with my hands.
Most of my previous jobs had been administrative or military (which was just secretive administrative work). Just starting out in this industry was a challenge in itself. The other challenge was working at the same company my dad worked at, and I knew there would be a high risk of others’ perceptions of who I was and all that favoritism crap. There was always the stigma that I had to live up to what everyone else expected of me, and believe me, they always expect more out of you when your dad is the president of the company.
Now I can wire anything. Although it is no longer what I do every day, that start helped me get to where I am now, and it was
an excellent basis for learning. I still have the dad-stigma thing though. I have just come to realize that people are always going to see what they want to see. I can work nonstop for a week straight, and some people will only notice the time I stop to grab some water. People’s perceptions are their realities, and they can’t see past them. But now that my position has changed multiple times, I face new challenges. Especially when it comes to traveling. When I travel alone, the guys I end up working with out in the field won’t join me for dinner or a beer after work. Sometimes it’s difficult getting them to even join me for lunch. That’s typically the normal thing to do when you’re out of town on business, right? Not if you’re a woman. Not if you’re by yourself. No guy will even accompany you unless you have other guys with you, because no guy wants to explain to his significant other that he was out having dinner and a drink with the chick who just flew into town. So yeah, it kind of sounds petty, and it’s understandable, but it’s still a pansy thing to do. But you know what? I have a lot of fun traveling alone, because I don’t have to worry about making sure everyone else is happy, and people don’t have to decide on where to go and all that BS. So my boyfriend worries about me traveling alone, because I’m a girl, but I just take that as his being sweet. I mean, I don’t want to be treated like a guy ALL the time. I’m still a woman, but I am definitely not some frail, tiny, mouse- like creature who needs to be wrapped in bubble wrap before stepping foot outside. Just sayin.
How has the workplace changed in its attitudes towards women for the better? For the worse?
I don’t want to sound like a feminist here, but it will probably come out that way a bit. This is an extremely male-dominated industry, but that is ok. I prefer working with guys even though plenty are just as catty as any woman I have work(ed) with.
Honestly I believe there has been some change in regards to attitudes towards women, but I think that happened between 1950 and 2000. Honestly, if you want to work with the big boys, you have to prove yourself. It’s just the way it is. A female CEO wouldn’t be there to hold your hand and pat you on the back while you cry about stress or someone dropped an F bomb in front of you. I give guys just as much grief as they give me, and I am not afraid of proving myself. Actually, come to think of it, I am probably worse than a lot of the guys I work with.
What advice would you give women entering male-dominated fields?
Grow a pair. You are going to be tested constantly. You still have to pass initiation in a way to even step foot in a man’s world. If you can’t take criticism, you’d better learn how. And yes. You will want to cry. We’re women. It totally happens at the most inconvenient times, and it if frustrating as hell which makes you cry even more. I think some guys understand this, but some don’t quite know how to respond. Just be prepared to take some grief if you break down in front of them.
What motivates you to come to work every day?
I get to be the queen of randomness. I enjoy what I do, and there is still so much to learn. Compared to this industry, I don’t know jack. You can never know it all doing what I do. Don’t think I don’t attempt to learn far too much!
How does being a woman in a male-dominated field give you an edge over your coworkers?
If you can earn their respect, male coworkers will go to bat for you and stick up for you. Maybe it’s a big brother mentality.
They know you can take care of yourself, but they will still be there to back you up when you need it. Sometimes their different ways of thinking can also help shed light on something you hadn’t noticed before in regards to a project. Not sure if that’s really an edge or just a benefit. Who were your mentors/champions in the early days of your career?
My mom was my champion while growing up. She didn’t need anyone else to take care of things. She worked on her own car, fixed what needed to be fixed, wired, soldered, worked her butt off, and managed to raise me. She was like Wonder Woman, and I wanted to grow up to be as independent as her. Sadly, I didn’t pick that up until later in life. As far as my mentor goes, Tina Vasquez was the woman who taught me how to wire and solder and read plans. She basically helped propel me to where I am now. I am thrilled to be working with her again, although I don’t actually work side by side with her in a bungalow anymore. I do wish my dad had taught me more guy things growing up. Knowing what that man knows would be amazing, but I wasn’t nearly as geeky and into electronics the way he was growing up. I’m not even really sure how he got started in it all…
What matters most to you?
Getting better at what I do. Maybe focusing on fewer things than I do now, because I feel a tad spread out. Told you.
Randomness.
What is your proudest achievement?
Just being where I am today. As much as I enjoyed being a cocktail server on Kauai, it’s not like it had a future. Yes. I am being totally serious. I worked hard to get to where I am now, and I have made a few mistakes along the way. I will continue to make mistakes, but I am determined to learn from them.
Mistakes are an amazing teacher.
What do you hope to see change in the industry moving forward? I wish women were seen more as equals in their respected fields. I don’t expect a guy to treat the accounting chick the same way he would treat the construction chick, but I would like to think if
they were both in construction they could see eye to eye. Especially when it comes to superiority. I once got “tattled on”
when I was an assistant production manager. I picked on a guy as a joke, and he went and cried to his boss about it. Yes, I probably shouldn’t have picked on him, but it was harmless and I know the field guys he worked with picked on him much worse. So what would my tiny joke matter? Obviously a lot more than I realized, and I ended up learning a very valuable lesson as a supervisor. Some guys can dish it, but they can’t take it. Also, don’t leave anything up in writing.
And with that, sometimes guys need to pull their skirts down to cover their girlie parts, and sometimes we women need to show off our cojones. It’s just the way it is. Besides, we can go from muddy, dirty construction/field workers to wearing high heels and a skirt and showing off our assets. You read that right!

So there you have it, my questionnaire all filled out.  Hope you enjoyed it!   

-Bonnie

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It’s Something…

Yes.  I realize it has been a few months since my last post.  I have to admit, my writing might become a tad boring, but I’ll let you be the judge of all that.  I am thinking I need to update the blog since it no longer involves living in my vehicle. So where should I begin?  Should I start off with the good or the bad?  The happy or the sad?   How about I jut start with something?

So, the holidays have come and gone.  We have gone through Thanksgiving, my birthday, Christmas, New Year, and today, Groundhog Day.  Early Spring has been predicted if you weren’t in the know.  Keep up with the times people!  😉   Although here in Texas we have been having springlike weather for a while now, and I am really wishing it would be cold.  I mean, I love the warmth and the sun and all, but I have some really awesome boots that I would like to wear for a couple months.  Ridiculous.   Anyway, so I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season filled with love and family and happiness and joy.  I am still with the same incredible and wonderful guy that I have written about.  He has requested that I not bald on about his personal life, and I have agreed, but I will have to mention him from time to time since he is a part of my life.  I think he’s ok with that as long as I spare any details.  Let me just say this: he’s pretty fucking awesome, and I love the shit out of him!!!  😍😍😍😍😍

In other news, work he kept me busy.  I still pretty much do randomness, but that’s ok.  For now.  Maybe I don’t want to necessarily specialize in something, but then again, maybe I do. Maybe I need to. Maybe I need to broaden my horizons. Learn something new in the industry.  Not like you don’t learn something new nearly every day doing what I do, but I like to learn randomness everyday regardless.  One can never learn too much!  Life is full of so much information that it would be a shame to waste the opportunity.  

The mini me is doing extremely well.  She had her first winter guard competition a couple weekends ago, and they won first place!  So proud of her and all the girls!  They have their second one this weekend, and I am excited to see them in their costumes since they didn’t have them for the first one.   Should be pretty cool!  She also has a new boy interest in her life.  I continue to remind her that she has time, and that she still has to keep school and colorguard as her priorities.  She understands, but I also know that the closer they get the harder it is to keep your concentration.   She will learn.  Everyone does.  And let me tell you, the struggle is real!

Spring break is coming up next month, and I couldn’t be more excited!!! We are heading out to Angel Fire, NM for a few days!!!  It’s my man’s family’s annual vacation, and the mini and I get to go.  What’s even more exciting is that one of the mini’s best friends gets to come with us!!!!  That makes me super happy since she will be entertained and get to hang out with someone her own age.  That will make the whole trip so much better for her, plus I love hanging out with those two, and they are great at making me laugh.   Yay!!!!

Other than all that I am getting back into a gym routine after being lazy a couple months and being sick for one of those.  I didn’t really work out for a while there and enjoy far too much of the good the holidays offered.  But let me tell you, it was delicious and almost worth it!  Sadly I need to drop some weight again since I gained about 16 pounds.  Yeah. Yikes!!!!  So I am back at the attempting to eat healthy and work out at five a week.  Wish me luck!  

On that note, I am trying to keep my eyes open and not pass out.  So now I am going to pass out.  I hope you enjoyed the quick blurb about the happenings in my life.  I have a ton more to share, but it’ll have to wait until tomorrow or something.  Have a good night and sweet dreams.  Ciao!

-Bonnie ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

   
    

 

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Thank You For Your Service

Those of you who are close to me know I was in the Army at one point in time.  You also probably know I wasn’t in for very long. Due to some poor personal decisions (none I regret) at the time, I was given the option to get out or stay in.  I was pregnant and wasn’t allowed to finish my advanced training until I was no longer pregnant. I wasn’t allowed to march.  I wasn’t allowed to run.  I wasn’t allowed to carry anything. Rules I believe everyone can agree are dated and stupid.  Due to not being able to do those things, I was not allowed to partake in the final field training exercise in order to graduate from AIT.  Rather than hanging out for the next 7 months in San Angelo, TX, and wait until I could complete my FTX, I took the option to get out.  

I left with an honorable discharge, a ring on my finger and disatisfaction with myself.  This still makes me a veteran.  I don’t qualify for any veteran anything since I was in less than the minimum two years that help you with college funding and all that jazz, but I’m still a veteran.  To me, I don’t feel like one.  I don’t like it when my old Army buddies thank me for my service.  I don’t stand up at sporting events or any events touting my veteran status.   I don’t feel I did anything to deserve any respect, and the word makes me uncomfortable.  

One of my closest friends sent me a text today thanking me for my service.  I told him I didn’t do shit, and it was he who should be thanked for his service.  He reminded me that we both signed our lives away for our country, which is a hell of a lot more than most people.  He has a point.  There was a clause in there stating I was pretty much handing my life over to my country.  I agreed to it, and I signed my name with pride.  I wanted to join the military right out of high school, but that was not an option I was given.  Being 17 when I graduated, a parental figure would not sign for me to join.  Instead, I went to a college I was ill prepared for, and I failed miserably.  It’s not that I wasn’t smart enough. I could have graduated from there if I had applied myself, but it wasn’t something I was ready to do.  The other option I had hoped for was to take a year off before going to college, but that wasn’t allowed either. So…

After failing most of my classes and suffering from severe test anxiety (I had never failed anything in my life until college), I dropped out.  By this time I was old enough to join without anyone else’s permission.  So I did!  I cut my hair short (something I will never do again) thinking it would be easier to manage(wrong!), and I tried to get in shape a little before I left.  It was a strange experience for sure.  I had really wanted to get into the medical field, but there were no open jobs for that line of work.  I chose intelligence instead.  It seemed exciting and full of mystery, and I’m sure at one point in time, it probably was.  Let me tell you, not exciting!  Unless your idea of excitement is sitting in a windowless building and shredding things properly, it was quite boring.  

Basic training was so much fun though!  That was my favorite part!  Although I wasn’t really a fan of the running part, I could max out on push ups and sit ups all day.  I met some very cool people there, and there were a lot of assholes there too, but it was good times all the way!!!  Off to AIT after that, and I met some more amazing people.  A few I have stayed in contact with, even if it is through Facebook.  They are good people to have in my life.  We may not see eachother or talk very often, but we will be there for one another when we are needed.  I love my battle buddies!  Always will!!!

So with that, a little back history about my brief time in the service.  I know I signed my life away, even if it was temporary, but I still won’t claim it as my friends think I should.  It is they I thank for their service.  I thank those in my family who have served this country.  I thank every veteran I will never meet for their service, and I thank those who have yet to serve, because we all have that one thing in common.  We are and were willing to give our lives for the freedoms we have today.  Those freedoms may be dwindling a bit, but they’re still here, and we will still fight for them.  So alright, I guess for one day out of the year I’ll get over it and accept my position.   You’re welcome.  It was my pleasure to sign my life away for you, and I would do it again if necessary.  

Happy Veteran’s Day!

Thank you and good night! 🙂

-Bonnie

Just some good pics to check out below

   
    
    
    
   

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Another Quickie!

Still here in Golden and loving it!!!  I am currently at brewery #3, Mountain Toad Brewery.  Not sure why this place only has 4 stars, because I dig the beer here way more than at Coors and Golden City.  I tried five of their beers and was not disappointed with any of them!!!


I was debating on doing more hiking today, but decided I’d check this place out instead. This morning I stopped at a place called Cafe 13 for some breakfast and coffee.  Ended up devouring an egg, ham, and cheddar croissant along with a pumpkin spice latte. So delicious!!!

After that I went for a quick walk on the Triceratops Trail!  Was not disappointed there either!  It was a ton of fun!  Short and sweet.  Then I drove up lookout mountain to a trailhead there and hiked another 2.5 miles or so.  It definitely paid off at the end!!



So I hiked back down that one and drove back into town. I am in love with Golden.  I could totally live here.  I know.  I know. Nowhere near a beach.  But it is beautiful here!!!!  Check out the creek that runs through town!


Anyway, deciding on if I want to do more hiking or walk around Golden some more.  Think I might walk around town a bit.  After I have another beer or two of course!!!  I’ll update the blog again soon!   If you want to follow me on Instagram or Snapchat find me.  Oceangrrrl on Snapchat and Oceanblc on Instagram. Pretty easy.  Find me!

Ciao for now!!!!!

-Bonnie

Golden!!!! 
Coors Brewery Tour


Headin out for the evening to Golden Coty Brewery.


Triceratops Trail

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