Bonnie’s Beach 🏖

My Life. My Experiences. My Love. My Words.

Hey stranger…

Been a while.

In fact, it’s been too long since I last took the thought of writing and then actually started typing. It’s too easy to give up after a few sentences these days. Thoughts become jumbled messes. The mind wanders. Feelings drift past. The words get lost. The distractions take over.

The past year has been quite the adventure! One that has flown by far too quickly. My best girlfriend reminded me today that this time last year we were getting ready for a trip to Aspen. It feels like a lifetime ago. Things have changed so much since then, and the people I knew then aren’t really in my life anymore. Friends of convenience is what they became, and it’s a lonely feeling. I no longer do so many of the things I did just a year ago. But, priorities have changed.

Even as I lay in my bed writing this out, I have to force myself to keep at it. My mind feels like it needs to be everywhere at once, and even then it feels boring in a way. Those distractions I mentioned earlier run me ragged, and my mental strength is waning. I’ll be forty this year, and I already feel that I need to start prepping myself against Alzheimer’s and dementia. I’m honestly not even kidding around. This past year I have had what I like to call glitches. There are times I wonder how the hell I remember all that I do, but then there are the times it takes a while for my mind to process questions or recall things or even interpret what someone has said completely wrong. Like I misheard it, and then a couple seconds go by and my brain processes it correctly. It’s frustrating. I can’t find the right words to use at certain times. They’re there. I can see them. But I force myself to use my brain’s old thesaurus to figure out what the damn word should be. The deeper I get into this tonight, the more my brain just wants to quit and stop trying come up with things to say. It’s sad. Something I once loved to do had become quite the challenge.

So with that, I am going to leave you with that terrible jumbled mess but I will attempt writing more tomorrow. It’ll have a much better point. I promise. For now, I am going to drift off to sleep and dream of all the words that never even had a chance. Tomorrow will be better. I hope. 😉

Good night!

-Bonnie 💙

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It Could Always Be Worse…

I say this to myself far too often. But it’s true. It’s an all encompassing truth. At least for me anyway.

So let me tell you how my week has been going. Just realize it’s only Tuesday. That should give an awesome clue as to how this will be laid out.

Sunday was a good day. Warm. I got a couple of paintings done and started a separate art project. It was sunny and warm, around 81°F. It was a tad boring of a day, but I kept busy for the most part. Then a storm comes through. Temps drop. Crazy lightning outside. Flood warnings. Yay Texas weather! It’s kinda normal, actually. The kicker is that Monday morning it is 39 F(ing) degrees outside! 39°?!?! And it’s raining. Cold and wet. Great start to a Monday.

I head outside to my car, praying it will start. Clyde does not like cold weather, but I’ve had so much work done to it that I am hoping it will be ok. Clyde started right up. Wasn’t running weird from the cold. I was highly impressed at this point. It’s going to be a great day! Right? Not until I head home from work!

Clyde has thrown in the towel. I barely made it home. Called the shop where I had spent far too much money to get Clyde fixed up. No answer. Actually, it’s Tuesday night, and I still haven’t received a phone call back. Jerks! Anyway, I had to pull over a few times on the way home, but I made it. Thankfully I made it. Of course my heart is pounding. I’m thinking my car is finally going to blow up. It didn’t. Whew! So anyway, my dad has a spare vehicle, and I am currently borrowing that. My stepmom is amazing! She came over to pick me up, brought dinner for me, and gave me the keys to my dad’s car. So awesome!

I don’t have internet at my place yet (actually getting installed tomorrow, been out for a few months now and cellular signal is fucking terrible). So I am attempting to begin the car buying process which involves multiple searches and filters and blah blah blah. Car shopping. I loathe car shopping. Since we were having shitty weather all day yesterday, my cell service was extra crappy. I couldn’t load anything. I was frustrated. I don’t think my bf knew what to do with me at this point. I know he wishes he could help more, but he’s in need of a new vehicle as well. Aren’t we a cute couple? Both in a hole at this point. So I call my mom.

My mom was all into helping me search for a “new” vehicle. She was putting in search criteria for me, and sending me pictures (which took an eternity to download on the phone 🙄), and she was emailing me links to check out the next day. Super cute and sweet! Love my mom so much! I’m pretty sure she was more excited about car shopping than I was. She found some good ones. Of course, anyone who can’t just walk onto a lot and pay cash for a new vehicle know the joys of used car shopping. You have to test drive all of them. I found some vehicles I was interested in, but dear God! They were not exactly nearby. Frustrating. Crappy weather. Figuring out loan calculators and budget and wondering if I’ll have food for the winter. Such fun!

Today, Tuesday, I drive to work. I’m there for thirty minutes and get a phone call from a friend of mine (also a coworker). She ran out of gas maybe two miles from a gas station! Her car lied to her and said she still had 21 miles left to go before being empty. So I leave the office to go pick her up. We head to the gas station. She gets a gas can and a gallon of gas. We head back to her car. Mind you it is cold as hell and just raining. Great weather to get stuck in. Just miserable weather. Bleh. So we get back to her car. The gas can nozzle won’t fit into her gas tank! I never knew this before, but Fords have a funnel-like thing with the spare just for this! Well, guess what she didn’t have with her spare. So we head to the office. Figure there’s a funnel somewhere in the shop.

Lunchtime rolls around, the rain sort of turns into a light drizzle, and we get ready to head back to her car. Walk out to my borrower vehicle and the driver’s side front tire is looking pretty low. Really? I was just like, come on universe, are you serious right now?! We head over to the gas station, slowly of course, and I put air in the tire. Seems good. We start off towards her car, get on the freeway, and the tire pressure sensor goes off. Pretty much at this point I was over it. I make it to another gas station, pull up to the air, trying to figure out what to do. It’s still cold and rainy. At this point it decided to rain a little harder. Called a coworker to take my friend to her car so I can beeline to a shop. Found a shop nearby, called, and they said they could fix it but wouldn’t be able to get to it for over an hour. That’s fine! Coworker comes to pick up friend. I refill the tire with air and head to the shop. PSI is dropping fast. I slowly make it to another station. More air. I’ve got three blocks to go, and I really don’t want to damage the wheel of this vehicle. Slowly make it to the shop. Get it there, and it finishes deflating.

Gotta say these guys were on it. They finished what they were working on and started working on the tire. Then they tell me the hole is too big to fix and have to use the spare. Fine with me! Do what you guys need to do! Guy comes back in and asks where the special tool is to get the spare down. I have no clue. Didn’t know there was a special tool for this. What else could go wrong?! Incredibly they found it!!! They mounted the spare. Didn’t charge me a thing! Seriously! Nothing! I asked what I owed, and the guy says nothing. I tell him I owe him something. The guy says I don’t. So I thank him multiple times, extremely grateful for the small kindness that brightened my dreary day. I make it back to work only wanting to go home and curl up in a ball and cry.

I made it through the cold and rainy day. Drove home from work. Walked to the front door and I see a bag hanging off the door handle. I take it inside, happy to see my two hair balls and open the bag I brought in. My stepmom brought it over for me with a card, a pumpkin dish, and a bag of candy corn, and that made me cry. I talk to my mom who is wanting to help me out by selling her horse trailer and old truck to lend me cash to put towards a car so I don’t have to pay interest. That made me cry. So my moms made my day end so sweetly and I felt so much love from the two of them. They really know how to remind me that I am loved. So even though my week has started off pretty shitty, today ended in lots of love and feelings of gratitude. Because it could always be worse.

To mellow this post out a touch, I’m going to share something. I recently had more work added to my tattoo piece on my back which entailed four butterflies. The original butterfly I had put on my back was for my grandmother. But I wanted three more coming up over shoulder. Each of those represents my mom, my stepmom, and my ex stepmom. The moms in my life who always made sure I was ok. They are there to help me when I need guidance and strength and someone to vent to. They are with me at all times. All of my tats have individual meanings, but they all come together as a mortality piece on my back. Still need more work done to complete. It’s almost there. It’s special to me. It’s me. But I wanted to share that about the butterfly section.

I hope this hasn’t been too dreary and all of a post, but I feel like sharing my shitty week with you, only to get to the end and seeing how beautiful today turned out. I am so grateful for the little things, my friends, my coworkers, my bf, even when adulting tries to bodyslam me from time to time, those little things all add up to amazingly grand things that make me smile.

Because, after all, it could be worse.

-Bonnie

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Life As I Know It…

It’s a tad crazy to say the least. You’re up one moment and down the next. But then you zoom back up again only to fall further down, and then you’re ok. Not great. Not terrible. Just ok. And I have learned that ok is ok. It could always be worse.

But it does seem Life has its curveballs, and sometimes you just can’t hit the damn ball that’s been thrown your way. It’s football season, and why the hell am I using a baseball analogy? Whatever. Moving on. So yeah. Life. It’s the greatest adventure we will ever know. It’s our life. We make it what we want. Yes. There are plenty of external factors that can influence it for good or bad, but overall, it’s yours. It’s yours to do with as you please. Waste it. Grow it. Destroy it. Expand it. End it. All things we as humans are capable of doing with this gift we have all been given. Not that we had any say as to whether we wanted one to begin with, but I would like to think I am quite happy that I was even given this opportunity to live. To laugh. To cry. To create another life. To love.

Our parents passed this gift of life to us, sometimes by accident. They happen. Their lives will one day end, and ours will continue on for a while. It’s inevitable. We have the choice to give life to another, and the cycle continues. The first few years our lives are not our own. They are governed in some form or fashion. The attempt to mold us while we are young and susceptible to influence to become more in the eyes of our parents and others. But we grow up and realize this one major thing: it’s my life. Some people never grasp this. Some grasp it early on. Some grasp it only when they have passed it on to another. There are an infinite number of ways that people become aware of their life belonging to them. So how do we decide, out of the endless possibilities, what we want to do with it?

One thing I have learned is that life is uncertain as all fuck. I have written plenty about how my plans for my life never seem to go accordingly. It’s like I’m swimming, swimming, swimming and then WHAM! I swim into a fucking wave this hits hard! Really hard! So I get confused. Wonder what the hell just happened. How did I get pushed backwards from how far I thought I had gotten? Maybe I swim around in circles until I’m completely lost. Maybe throw in a little panic mode for good measure. Then I look at my options of how to get through the wave currently making a beeline for me to wash me up on shore. Sometimes I just have to swim over it. It might take a while, or maybe it was a small wave I could have easily dove under if I was paying the slightest attention to the details? Each wave is different. I like using the wave analogy, because even though they can stop you in your tracks, they can also make you fall backwards and tumble, tumble some more, lose your breath, force your head onto a rock, panic, tumble again, scratch your legs up pretty bad, and maybe even throw some seaweed into your face. Which seems ok until you actually experience seaweed in your face! But eventually you make it through and breath deep.

So back to this whole gift of life and the choices we make thing. We can take the highs but be prepared for the lows. We can take the lows and hope we can find that high again. Hope. An extremely important motivator. A small thing that has great influence in our lives. We can use hope for any bad scenario. It helps us look at our low points as if they are ok.

Life is full of ok moments, and life is full of good moments if we choose to see them that way. It may seem like I’m rambling on about this, but trust me. In my head it’s all perfectly laid out and makes complete sense. Or so I would like to believe. Just when I think I have it all figured out, that curveball is sent straight for my head hoping to knock some sense into it that I have absolutely nothing figured out at all. And that’s one of the beautiful parts of this gift I have been given. I’ll never figure it out, but hopefully I can prepare myself to enjoy it to the fullest. I’ve had my share of hurt and pain and heartbreak and endless wave upon wave, and I choose to look back and learn from those lessons to make my life better for the future I hope I get. Because honestly, we don’t know when this gift of life stops giving.

So, with my ramblings, I hope that you see your life as a gift too! The millions of people that have had a butterfly effect on my life and vice versa are all gifts in some way. Hopefully when I am feeling low I will think back on this post and remember the hope I have expressed here. Don’t lose hope. Don’t lose the light. Don’t forget your gift. It’s too easy to lose your way in the darkness, but don’t give up hope. Remember, we are all sharing this gift of life with each other. Maybe this time it will go as planned…

Love,

Bonnie 💙

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Another Quickie!

Still here in Golden and loving it!!!  I am currently at brewery #3, Mountain Toad Brewery.  Not sure why this place only has 4 stars, because I dig the beer here way more than at Coors and Golden City.  I tried five of their beers and was not disappointed with any of them!!!


I was debating on doing more hiking today, but decided I’d check this place out instead. This morning I stopped at a place called Cafe 13 for some breakfast and coffee.  Ended up devouring an egg, ham, and cheddar croissant along with a pumpkin spice latte. So delicious!!!

After that I went for a quick walk on the Triceratops Trail!  Was not disappointed there either!  It was a ton of fun!  Short and sweet.  Then I drove up lookout mountain to a trailhead there and hiked another 2.5 miles or so.  It definitely paid off at the end!!



So I hiked back down that one and drove back into town. I am in love with Golden.  I could totally live here.  I know.  I know. Nowhere near a beach.  But it is beautiful here!!!!  Check out the creek that runs through town!


Anyway, deciding on if I want to do more hiking or walk around Golden some more.  Think I might walk around town a bit.  After I have another beer or two of course!!!  I’ll update the blog again soon!   If you want to follow me on Instagram or Snapchat find me.  Oceangrrrl on Snapchat and Oceanblc on Instagram. Pretty easy.  Find me!

Ciao for now!!!!!

-Bonnie

Golden!!!! 
Coors Brewery Tour


Headin out for the evening to Golden Coty Brewery.


Triceratops Trail

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Short and Sweet

Just a quick post to update anyone who’s interested.  Arrived late last night in Denver and drove out to Golden for the weekend.  Super tired this morning and attempting to get moving.   I believe I am in need of sustenance and a good cup of coffee.  Hotel coffee is not cutting it right now.  Then I will be off to explore Golden a bit and check out a brewery over here.  Tomorrow I believe I will be heading to the Golden State park or whatever it is to do some hiking, but I need to plan out where I want to hike.  Maybe I’ll ask some locals. 

Anyway, this should be a fun little weekend getaway.  I am missing my man terribly and wish he could join us, but maybe next time if our schedules sync. Yay!  All is well!  I’ll be off to taste some beers this afternoon and update the blog accordingly.  Have a great weekend!!!!

-Bonnie

  

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Already Giving Up A Little…

Why the hell is it so hard being happy?  I mean, isn’t that what people strive for?  Happiness?  So why is it such a struggle?  Why is that we can work and work and work for our goals, but the happiness from achieving them fades away leaving us wanting more?  These are questions that have been haunting me lately, and the more I dwell, the more my happiness fades away to leave a dull, gray residue behind, and that’s all I see anymore.  

I had a bad night recently. Although I may have had one too many beers, I got depressed and began to think a tad irrationally.  So I shut down my FB page. I shut down my FB Messenger.  I almost posted my final blog post as well, but I fell asleep before I hit post, and now I can’t find the draft…   So consider yourself lucky. 😉   I’m kidding!  You’re not lucky!!!!  Here you are, reading my randomness again!  So there!  😛

In my last post I mentioned my loathing for apartment hunting.  Sadly I have been too damn busy to even have the chance to find one!  This only sets me back further as anything that was available for an August move in is sure to have been snatched up with nothing until September or October. Just my luck!  I am trying to get out of here. I feel like a freeloader, hence my never really being around anymore.  I’ll stay out late and grab wings and a beer at Hooters, or I’ll stay late at the park, or I’ll just do nothing really.  I try to hide in the back room to avoid being in the way and attempt to lessen my feelings of being such a loser. Which yes, I am a loser.  Such a loser of a loser.  I’m pretty pathetic.  I can’t help but feel worse and worse as each day passes.  And though no one would claim that I am one, I still feel that way just the same. Anyone who knows me also knows I never intended to be in the situation I am currently in.  If it weren’t for the heat, I’d still be in my car until I found a place. 

Among other news, I signed back up for match.com.  Yeah I know.  Guess I like to torture myself.  That must be it!  First date was ok, then he started with the drama.  Um, nope!  Second date, that guy just wants fun.  I have been propositioned via the match messenger more than I care to think about!  I had a date Sunday that I thought went great, but then allegedly we were supposed to go out again tonight, but then he got his daughter.  Which ok.  That’s fine. I totally understand that.  But at least have the decency to let me know ahead of time rather than allow me to sound like a nag until you finally tell me what the hell is going on.  I don’t see it being that much to ask for.  Really.  Common courtesy is nice!  Then there was another guy I was chatting with.  Now I have been blown off by that one the same day.  I am just really getting tired.  

So yeah.  Trying to date again sucks.  I mean really?  All you want to do is what?  Um…no. Apartment hunting?  That’s sucky too!!!  Ugh!  Just shoot me already!!!  If I wanted to hook up I’d download tinder.   Trust me.  I have thought about trying it to see if you can actually score a date rather than a yeah.  You guessed it. 

Next week I will be in Denver.  I know I am wiring stuff in the field.  That’s about it. So I am going to stay through the following weekend in order to enjoy the area a bit.  Maybe check out Garden of the Gods and some microbreweries over there.   🙂 

So I am going to leave it at that and get some much needed sleep.  Wish me luck, because I am about to throw my hands up and say I quit.  Men are beginning to piss me off.  If it wasn’t for the small amount of fun they can provide from time to time, I’d be done.  So stupid and frustrating and exhausting!  Anyway, have a good night!  😉
Fundraising event Friday night in Austin with me hanging out on stage with the drag queen.  She was fabulous!!!!!  
Where is this guy?!?!  Am I asking too much?!?!

  
Where I’d rather be right now…

  
And I can do a pull up now!!!!!!

 Woohoo!!!!!  So I rewarded myself with this!
  

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I Feel Like Writing A Bit…

So I am chillin in the car. Just thinking. My stomach is making random noises like something out of an aliens movie. The wind is blowing as a Texas cold front continues to drop our spring-like temps back into winter reality. Although a Texas winter is like spring to the North. I am not apologetic about this. I like not having to step outside into weather that hurts my face. It’s nice! No negative thirties here! Woohoo!!! So 😛

I have so much randomness going through my head. Especially since stupid Valentines Day is fast approaching. It’s stupid, because I’m single. Not that I am really in a place in my life to start a relationship, but the thought is always nice. Can’t really bust out with a, “Hey baby. Why don’t you come back to my place?” Hahaha!!! Yeah! Like guys living with their parents aren’t a turn off!!! But you know, just because I’m not relationship worthy at the moment doesn’t mean that I don’t like to be hit on. I mean, really? And I’m sorry, but creepy, stalker guys that live in windowless vans don’t count! Oh sure we could share car living tips, but I will not be seeing what that shag carpet looks like in the inside. Nope! I will not get in your van thinking I’m helping you as you load a couch into it and push me to the back. I refuse to be a dress!!!!!!

Seriously though. This is where my self confidence thinks, wtf? I don’t need anyone else’s approval, but then again I do. It’s flattering when people are nice and hold open a door or they smile or say or start s conversation. But it’s so rare for me anymore. Am I ugly? I don’t think I am. I mean, I’m very far from Miss Texas pretty, but I don’t look like that chick from A League Of Their Own either. You know the one!!! Am I intimidating? I don’t really see it. I’m always smiling and trying to keep my body language open, but obviously I am doing it all wrong. Maybe I come off as a but stand-offish? Maybe guys don’t like women who can take care of themselves? Maybe I’m too tall? Maybe I’m too fat? Maybe maybe maybe!!!!!!! It’s enough to drive somebody insane!!! Hit on me dammit!!!!! Say hi! Use a GD pick up line you got off a gum wrapper! Anything!!!!

I need sleep. I’ll just be dreaming of an adventure I’ll most likely go on alone…

-B

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I’m Sorry.

So it’s been a while since I’ve written, and I have received some major grief about it. You know who you are! 😉 It actually makes me feel pretty good knowing my friends and family kinda miss me. So I suppose I have a lot of writing to do today in order to get everything caught up. Here goes.

I left off on December 14th, in San Francisco. I had gotten to my beach, driven over the Golden Gate and checked into my hotel in Pleasanton. It was a pretty awesome day! The next morning I had a horn demo to do for work. I had never done one. Just so you know what the heck I am talking about, the company I work for designs and installs quiet zones and wayside horn systems (only one of many things they do). Basically it’s a horn that is aimed directly toward road traffic to sound for the train as it approaches a crossing. This directs the sound of the horn blowing to the vehicles needing to stop, rather than having the train blow his horn as he comes into town, generally blasting homes and businesses with a high number of decibels and plain old noise. So this takes some coordination with the railroads and towns and contractors. I was a bit nervous to say the least, but it turned out to be an amazing experience. Not only did I get to meet and work with some great people, it was incredible seeing the people who lived in the town come out to hear the demo. It was greatness! And I totally understand! I lived pretty much under an airport, and you get used to that, no problem, but I couldn’t imagine trying to live next to a set of tracks hearing that train horn multiple times a day. I have been miles away and could still hear that damn whistle. It’s faint, but it’s still there.

Anyway, enough about that. I was told I needed to stay through that Tuesday. The demo was on Monday. I had nothing to do that next day. I asked my boss what he wanted me to do. His response was to have fun. My idea of fun was driving to San Jose. I was excited. I had never been there! The buildings were quite pretty, but I’m a sucker for those lovely, blue windows. This city looked nice. I should have a good time here right? Wrong! What the F was I thinking?! San Jose sucked!!!! After walking around to grab something to eat and explore the city a bit, let’s just say I was less than impressed. What a shit hole! I would have been better off sleeping in and watching a movie. So I decided to drive back up to San Fran! At least there are things to do there. Besides, I was hungry! Really effing hungry!

On my way up to SF, I got to drive by the ballpark. I should have stopped, but I was on a mission for sustenance. I made it back over to Pier 39. At the end of the pier was a sushi place! Mouth was a watering! I ordered up some sushi, a bottle of nigori sake, and enjoyed my view overlooking the bay. It was quite nice. After perusing the shops on the pier, I decided to head back over to Pleasanton. I had a super early flight the next morning, and I needed to get back to pack and get some sleep. Everyone else seemed to want to leave the city too! At the same, effing, time!!!!!! Awesome!!! I will never live in a big city unless I never plan to drive out of it! Ridiculous!!! I was engulfed in stupidity, and I couldn’t get out!!!!!! I was talking to my mom on the phone, hands free of course, and she got to hear the frustration. Sorry mom. It was like being thrown into some lawless, Mad Max society, where no traffic laws truly existed and the only way to get out was to just be a jerk driver. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em! So I did! Took me two hours to get back to the hotel. Two. Hours!!!!!!!! It was only supposed to be a 45 minute drive. It could have been worse, I know, but still. Stupid!

So blah blah blah, I flew back home, worked a couple hours that day. Worked all day Thursday. Dentist appointment on Friday. Missed the company Christmas party due to being on Vicodin and recovering from twilight anesthesia. Anyone who knows me knows I am not a fan of dentists. After having multiple teeth pulled as a child and years of bad braces experience, I get nervous. I don’t do well with hands and needles and drills in my mouth, so it’s either nitrous or twilight. I prefer the twilight. I don’t want to know what’s going on. I can’t cry if I’m oblivious. Seriously. I don’t cry cry. Just the tear streaming thing. Like crying when I’m super mad. I can’t help it. I know I’m fine, but they just start flowing. I’m prepared for that whole zombie apocalypse, bring it on. But any dental work will have to be done after someone hits me over the head with a rock or something. So now you know my anxiety caused by dentistry. Yea!!!!

This brings us up to the week of Christmas. My birthday is two days before that. I get taken out for my birthday on Monday by my dad and second mom and my mini-me and her step-brother. It was a good evening. Had some great Mexican food at Los Asaderos. I had never eaten there, and I must say it was quite delicious. Those were some good margaritas! We headed back to their house for an early Christmas. They weren’t going to be in town and wanted to give gifts early, and it was a great feeling getting to unload the gift I had bought two months prior for my stepmom. Finally!!! Yea!!!!!!!!! My dad will get his after he gets back from Missouri. He wouldn’t have been able to put it to good use before heading out of town anyway. Went to work the next day (my b-day) and had a birthday lunch with my buddy José and wiring mentor, Tina (she taught me how to wire and read prints and a lot of other cool things). Hadn’t seen her in a long time, so that was pretty awesome! Got back to the office to see that they decided to close at noon. Noon! There goes my getting stuff out that day. Oh well. I have next week. It was still a good day though. Got to drag my munchkin with me to the office. Got some great b-day calls. Drove down to my mom’s for birthday lasagna made by mom, and pumpkin bread and cream cheese icing made from scratch by my sister. Mmmmmmmmm… One of my best friends drove an hour to give me my birthday gift on my birthday. So that made my b-day even better! All in all, I had a great day!!!!!!

So Christmas was a day away. I needed to do some last second shopping and run a couple errands. My big Christmas gift to myself was getting in touch with my old trainer and meeting up with him. I’ll be starting my training after the new year with a new trainer named Kyle. My old one is now a club manager and no longer trains others. 😦
The past couple of years I have been going downhill. I sit in front of a computer at work, pretty much all day, and I am so tired from doing nothing, that I pretty much stick with that routine for the rest of the day. It’s almost as if I’d lost my zest for living. The lazier I got, the less I wanted to get out and do the things I loved. It’s gotten to the point where I have shut out most of the outside world. Not a good place to be. I may not like being around people very much, but I need to spend time with friends and family and get out. Yes. I have gotten to travel and get out and explore, but it’s been alone. It’s lonely trying to have fun by yourself. I am no social butterfly, and I have no problem eating out or having a drink at a bar alone, but it’s always nice being able to share experiences with others. If I keep it up, this blog may be the only way I’ll really share anything anymore. Pretty pathetic, huh? On top of all that, numerous studies show you can extend your life by having a good sense of community and friendships with others. Then I get overwhelmed trying to find a group to join to maybe at least make some buddies and get out more. It’s stupid! Anyway, enough about my ridiculous self-pity moments. It’s a vicious cycle!

My mom’s Christmas gift was Italian beef ordered from Portillo’s in Chicago, and damn that was good!!!! Madi had never had an Italian beef sandwich before. My sister had never experienced Portillo’s. That was some damn good food!!!!! I think we started a new holiday tradition!!! I am totally down with it! Screw traditional dinner! Portillo’s!!!! Yeah!!!!!

So now I bring you up to today. A cold front came through. It be chilly! Still hanging at my mom’s. We are going to make it a movie day and head out this afternoon, but for now we’re all just lounging around. It’s nice. Cali is keeping my toes warm. 🙂 Harley is keeping the mini-me warm. Baby Kitty is off somewhere being her ADD self. Trust me. She is the most easily distracted creature I have ever seen! I love my hairy kids, and I love the half version of me currently sitting in the living room. 🙂

I won’t be in my car for a while. I’ll be adding a bunch of miles this week to it, but there won’t be much sleeping in it until mid January. I’ll continue writing and attempting to keep you entertained. I hope everyone had a great Christmas with their loved ones!! I’ll talk to you soon! Ciao!

-B

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