So I am chillin in the car. Just thinking. My stomach is making random noises like something out of an aliens movie. The wind is blowing as a Texas cold front continues to drop our spring-like temps back into winter reality. Although a Texas winter is like spring to the North. I am not apologetic about this. I like not having to step outside into weather that hurts my face. It’s nice! No negative thirties here! Woohoo!!! So 😛
I have so much randomness going through my head. Especially since stupid Valentines Day is fast approaching. It’s stupid, because I’m single. Not that I am really in a place in my life to start a relationship, but the thought is always nice. Can’t really bust out with a, “Hey baby. Why don’t you come back to my place?” Hahaha!!! Yeah! Like guys living with their parents aren’t a turn off!!! But you know, just because I’m not relationship worthy at the moment doesn’t mean that I don’t like to be hit on. I mean, really? And I’m sorry, but creepy, stalker guys that live in windowless vans don’t count! Oh sure we could share car living tips, but I will not be seeing what that shag carpet looks like in the inside. Nope! I will not get in your van thinking I’m helping you as you load a couch into it and push me to the back. I refuse to be a dress!!!!!!
Seriously though. This is where my self confidence thinks, wtf? I don’t need anyone else’s approval, but then again I do. It’s flattering when people are nice and hold open a door or they smile or say or start s conversation. But it’s so rare for me anymore. Am I ugly? I don’t think I am. I mean, I’m very far from Miss Texas pretty, but I don’t look like that chick from A League Of Their Own either. You know the one!!! Am I intimidating? I don’t really see it. I’m always smiling and trying to keep my body language open, but obviously I am doing it all wrong. Maybe I come off as a but stand-offish? Maybe guys don’t like women who can take care of themselves? Maybe I’m too tall? Maybe I’m too fat? Maybe maybe maybe!!!!!!! It’s enough to drive somebody insane!!! Hit on me dammit!!!!! Say hi! Use a GD pick up line you got off a gum wrapper! Anything!!!!
I need sleep. I’ll just be dreaming of an adventure I’ll most likely go on alone…
-B
Bonnie’s Beach 🏖 
OMG, it’s just another commercial holiday, like Christmas, but made for those in love, or those falling in love. Besides, if someone loves another person, they don’t need a special day to show it, they can show it anytime they want to, though I’m sure business is thriving for those in the card, candy and flower businesses.
Ha, and you think not being hit on is bad? Try this on and see how it hurts. A couple men I used to work with, maybe a few years younger than myself, found out I had two daughters. Would you believe they asked me to fix you up with them? One was bald and thought he was hot shit, even I wouldn’t have gone out with him, but to think he had the balls to ask to meet you, or your sister just blew me away!!
You’re not fat, not ugly, and if you’re too tall, then they are too short and that’s their problem, not yours!
I think it’s time for a cruise somewhere, a change of scenery might do some good!!
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Thank you mom! And I know it’s a commercial holiday. I know there is more than one way to show and share love for others, and I know there is more than just one day a year to do it. It just serves as an ugly reminder. And thank you for having that awesome judgement you have and not introducing me to losers! Love you mom!!!
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You’re correct, it is an ugly reminder, so ugly that people have killed themselves because they felt unworthy of someone’s love, anyone’s love, just to say they have someone in their life, it’s so not worth it!! All I am saying, is don’t fall in the traps commercialism sets for us.
You’re welcome, I would never set you up with a loser, but if I meet some nice young man, and I think you might make a great twosome, you’ll be the first to know. 🙂
Love you too Baby Girl.
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It’s not like I’m suicidal mom!!! Geez! Have more faith in me than that! Humans are full of so many emotions and can’t always control then. The mind plays enough games as it is, but when the heart decides to join the game, it plays to win. Some never see it coming, and for others it takes years and a slow, painful death.
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I would never even think you would kill yourself for any reason, geeeeeezzzzzzz, the written word can be so misconstrued!!!
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Duh! 😛
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I LOVE YOU! And Mama is right!
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I love you too angel pie!!!!!!
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Thanks Madi!! Love you!!
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You’re welcome Mama!!! I love you both!
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I feel like I need to reply to this one…There is nothing wrong with you at all! I am in the same boat that you are in, but someone will come into your life when the stars align. It really sucks being alone and single, but would you give up what you have now and settle for something that you had in the past just to be in a relationship? I know that I wouldn’t and when that person comes along it will be worth all the time that you have been single. In the meantime I guess we need to schedule a night out. : )
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Thank you! I definitely don’t want to settle. No know the right thing will come along at some point. The waiting part is just really sucky. And yes!!!! When the F are we going out again?!?! Wins and beer were excellent last night, but it was lonely. 😦
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Bonnie, in the most platonic way humanly possible let me say this, you are an absolutely beautiful person inside and out. One of the most amazing people I’ve ever met. You should never doubt yourself for a moment, and I’m sorry if the world or this crazy life ever made you feel that way! hugs battle!
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Thank you Alex! I can feel that hug all the way over here! 😊
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