Bonnie’s Beach 🏖

My Life. My Experiences. My Love. My Words.

The Traveler…

I was recently asked by a friend if I’d ever thought about being a travel blogger. Well of course I have! Who wouldn’t want to travel the world and share new experiences with everyone who cares to read about them?! I mean, there are plenty of people who either can’t or don’t want to travel, and reading about them is their way to get out there and see what they are unwilling or unable to do. But my answer also brought out the main reasons why I would never pursue being a travel blogger. First off, I am at the point in my life where I wouldn’t even want to put in the type of effort it would take to make enough income to pay my current bills. Secondly, I am happy with the man I am with and where we are in our lives. When we do get to travel, it is for sanity and memories we get to create together.

Those who are close to me have surely noticed my BF does not like social media. He does not want pictures posted of him, and he would appreciate that I don’t really talk about him. Not to say he hasn’t been the reason behind some of my posts. But if anyone looks closely, they’ll notice there are no pictures of him that I post, and he isn’t tagged in anything either. He enjoys and likes to keep his privacy, and I respect that. He has also made me rethink a lot of my own social media content, and my participation has drastically lowered over the past year. Don’t think I don’t want to post pictures of us or declare my undying love for him for all my friends and family to see! I do! But I don’t have to prove anything to anyone that I am in a relationship with someone who lets me be my weird self. Yes. I admit I’m weird. It’s true! And we did recently take a couple of trips together, but I’m not writing to discuss those.

I’ve recently began traveling for work again. I love it and hate it. I love being able to get out of my office! I love being outside! Even when my weather app tells me it’s sunny even though I experienced snow flurries all day. I will happily be out in the heat or the cold and work my ass off. It’s a break from the norm, and it’s a way to keep my sanity. Although I love my normal routine, it’s nice to just break free from time to time and see new places. Even when the places are pretty boring!

Last week I was in Durant, OK. Two weeks before that I was in Oklahoma City, OK. Not really two places I would typically be excited to go to, and I wasn’t. It was for work anyway, and that’s what I focused on. If you haven’t worked with me out in the field, I am one of those people that love to get started early and will work until midnight if necessary. I’m sure a couple of coworkers think I’m crazy that starting the work day at 8am in the field isn’t early enough. But it’s not like I sleep well while I’m out of town anyway. Might as well get to work.

While I was out those two separate weeks, I realized I sorta lost my zeal to get out and experience where I was. It was work and hotel. Work and hotel. Oklahoma City didn’t inspire me to get out and see the sites. Yes. There are a plethora of things to do and see there, but I just couldn’t get motivated to even go out to eat. I mean, I brought my own food to stay on my diet. I’ve done a fair share of eating out and enjoying microbrews, and I just didn’t feel up to it this time around. Nor did I feel like checking out any local attractions. Not even the casinos. I was tempted at one point to stop at one on my drive home and drop a dollar in a spot to say I gambled at such and such casino. But then I thought nah. I’d have to park and walk in and actively take part in said activity. So I passed on that and continued driving.

Then I went to Durant. If you’ve never been there you’re really not missing too much. But maybe I did. The historic downtown had a fun flare to it, and I sorta wish I had gotten out to see it all. There was a pretty fun, artistic side to it, which made it a pretty cool little town. And there were some fun restaurants and bars that I could have stopped in to enjoy. But again, I brought all my own food and kept my work routine. You know the one: work, hotel, work, hotel. You get the point. There was also another big casino on my drive home. Did I stop this time? Nope! It would have entailed too much effort, and I was ready to be home.

Next week I will be back in OK. Our work is taking us through the Southeast corner of the state, and although there may not be a whole lot to see or do, I plan on adventuring this time around. I plan on walking through the small towns I stay in each trip I take up there (it’s not that far of a drive from where I live), and I also plan to write about them. Not that I am planning a side gig as a travel blogger, but just to share the new things that others may never get a chance to see. Who knows what I will find! I can still eat the food I bring and be faithful to the summer body I am trying to get (remember those are made in the winter or so I keep telling myself). Even though I kept myself in a pretty boring routine this past trip, I did stop once for some quick pictures in an alley. Odd place, I know, but as I mentioned earlier, Durant had an artsy side to it. Some of it you wouldn’t even see if you didn’t happen to drive to some off-the-beaten-path locations like we were for work. My first thought was that my daughter would love to see this! Then I thought my BF would think they were cool. Now I am sharing those with you, because I think you would like them too! So enjoy the pictures below, and I will share more from my upcoming trips.

Bonnie 💙

The random back alley in Durant. One block off the main drag, and we just randomly drove by it the first time getting from one location to the next.

The blue morpho is what convinced me to drive back by and get some pictures. It is my favorite butterfly, and I actually have four of them tattooed to represent four amazing women in my life.

Around the corner you could escape to four different places at each painted “window”.

This was a beach volleyball spot across from a Veterans of Foreign Wars building. It even had a place for horseshoes on the right. Thought it would have been an awesome spot to play and enjoy some cold ones if it wasn’t 30° that day.

Just a friendly neighbor checking us out while at work. A beautiful horse that knew I had gotten my phone out and decided to become camera shy. Go figure.

Hotel life in Oklahoma City. Yep! Gotta love those hotel rooms! 😂😂

6 Comments »

Happiness

Why is happiness so hard to hold onto?!  You see people who always seem to be happy on the outside.  They’re always friendly and smiling and ready to cheer everyone up, and they just make it look like the universe is in their corner. I try to be that person.  I try so hard.  But inside it is a typhoon of darkness and sadness and worries and stress and tears.  

Some people say happiness is a choice.  I agree.  It is a choice.  But damn if it isn’t one of the hardest ones.  It’s so easy to trip and fall into unhappiness. It’s so much easier to sink and sulk and pity yourself.  So why?  Why is something that is so incredibly good for you and everyone around you so difficult to achieve?  Why is it so much easier to let the mind wander into unhappiness when happiness is just around the corner?  Why does the corner seem so far away at times?  Ugh!  

I don’t have anything to be unhappy about.  Ok, well, I do, but I can choose to ignore it, right?  Does ignoring the things that make you unhappy keep you happy?  Of course that doesn’t work!  Ignoring it allows it to continue to fester and grow and creep in and then poke you constantly.  Yet it is seemingly easier to ignore it than fix it.  Why do some of us struggle with fixing the bad to make ourselves happier?  Is it denial?  Is it fear?  Is it ignorance?  Is it a combination of all of that and more?   

So I ask you, what makes you happy?  What helps keep you from focusing on the crap that can so easily turn your smile into a frown?  What is your secret?  I don’t want to be sad, and I don’t want to be grumpy, and I don’t want to whine about things when I can make it better.  I’m just curious.  I realize everyone has their own happy to find. I know one of my “happies”, but it isn’t feasible most of the time.  Let me know!

-Bonnie


From a recent trip to Long Island, NY. 

8 Comments »

Small Addictions…

They seem to run freely in my life. I go through random waves of things like eating sushi for a month, get sick of it, then go on a Ceasar salad rampage for a month, get sick of it etc. etc.  I’ve even gone through ditching coffee for tea!  I always go back to coffee at some point though.  They are more intense than just cravings, and cravings seem to be a one and done sort of experience. But these, these I would classify as a temporary case of insanity.

Perhaps this mentality is why I have always got to find a new adventure or try a new hobby or learn more or do more!  I have noticed that my past is made up of short lived experiences.  One right after another.  Even my relationships have been this way.  I am at the point in my life now that I can clearly see why there has been a constant need for newness and the resulting failures that occur. Now I know how to stop it.  Now I know what to expect.  I am determined to follow through.  Even though fear of the future still seems to be a small issue, I take that as normal.  The future is uncertain, and I believe that is something we can all agree on.  I learned long ago that life does NOT go according to plan.  Especially for me!  I can’t complain though!  All of my non plans seem to lead me in the right direction.  Let’s just say I love the direction my personal non plan life path is going.  Why plan?!  Just go with the flow.  Live in the now. Learn from the past to be prepared for the future, but come back to the now without fear.  Don’t resist the uncertain.  Love with everything you’ve got!  I am putting my entire heart into the future, and I recommend anyone who can, should!

Thank you for reading gibberish.  I’ve been going through more of a painting than writing phase. It too shall pass, and then I’ll probably be trying to learn to play a trumpet or something.  Who knows!  Maybe I’ll paint something good besides my stand up paddle board I repainted and plan on sealing tomorrow.  You never know.  Why plan it?  😉

Nighty night!

-Bonnie
Figured I’d post a couple pics of random.

That is the new board painting.

Working in the field in Ohio about a month ago.

If you don’t get this you’re probably just too young to get the awesomeness!


My current other temporary addiction. The last one was Not Your Father’s Rootbeer.

3 Comments »

It’s Something…

Yes.  I realize it has been a few months since my last post.  I have to admit, my writing might become a tad boring, but I’ll let you be the judge of all that.  I am thinking I need to update the blog since it no longer involves living in my vehicle. So where should I begin?  Should I start off with the good or the bad?  The happy or the sad?   How about I jut start with something?

So, the holidays have come and gone.  We have gone through Thanksgiving, my birthday, Christmas, New Year, and today, Groundhog Day.  Early Spring has been predicted if you weren’t in the know.  Keep up with the times people!  😉   Although here in Texas we have been having springlike weather for a while now, and I am really wishing it would be cold.  I mean, I love the warmth and the sun and all, but I have some really awesome boots that I would like to wear for a couple months.  Ridiculous.   Anyway, so I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season filled with love and family and happiness and joy.  I am still with the same incredible and wonderful guy that I have written about.  He has requested that I not bald on about his personal life, and I have agreed, but I will have to mention him from time to time since he is a part of my life.  I think he’s ok with that as long as I spare any details.  Let me just say this: he’s pretty fucking awesome, and I love the shit out of him!!!  😍😍😍😍😍

In other news, work he kept me busy.  I still pretty much do randomness, but that’s ok.  For now.  Maybe I don’t want to necessarily specialize in something, but then again, maybe I do. Maybe I need to. Maybe I need to broaden my horizons. Learn something new in the industry.  Not like you don’t learn something new nearly every day doing what I do, but I like to learn randomness everyday regardless.  One can never learn too much!  Life is full of so much information that it would be a shame to waste the opportunity.  

The mini me is doing extremely well.  She had her first winter guard competition a couple weekends ago, and they won first place!  So proud of her and all the girls!  They have their second one this weekend, and I am excited to see them in their costumes since they didn’t have them for the first one.   Should be pretty cool!  She also has a new boy interest in her life.  I continue to remind her that she has time, and that she still has to keep school and colorguard as her priorities.  She understands, but I also know that the closer they get the harder it is to keep your concentration.   She will learn.  Everyone does.  And let me tell you, the struggle is real!

Spring break is coming up next month, and I couldn’t be more excited!!! We are heading out to Angel Fire, NM for a few days!!!  It’s my man’s family’s annual vacation, and the mini and I get to go.  What’s even more exciting is that one of the mini’s best friends gets to come with us!!!!  That makes me super happy since she will be entertained and get to hang out with someone her own age.  That will make the whole trip so much better for her, plus I love hanging out with those two, and they are great at making me laugh.   Yay!!!!

Other than all that I am getting back into a gym routine after being lazy a couple months and being sick for one of those.  I didn’t really work out for a while there and enjoy far too much of the good the holidays offered.  But let me tell you, it was delicious and almost worth it!  Sadly I need to drop some weight again since I gained about 16 pounds.  Yeah. Yikes!!!!  So I am back at the attempting to eat healthy and work out at five a week.  Wish me luck!  

On that note, I am trying to keep my eyes open and not pass out.  So now I am going to pass out.  I hope you enjoyed the quick blurb about the happenings in my life.  I have a ton more to share, but it’ll have to wait until tomorrow or something.  Have a good night and sweet dreams.  Ciao!

-Bonnie ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

   
    

 

Leave a comment »

Thank You For Your Service

Those of you who are close to me know I was in the Army at one point in time.  You also probably know I wasn’t in for very long. Due to some poor personal decisions (none I regret) at the time, I was given the option to get out or stay in.  I was pregnant and wasn’t allowed to finish my advanced training until I was no longer pregnant. I wasn’t allowed to march.  I wasn’t allowed to run.  I wasn’t allowed to carry anything. Rules I believe everyone can agree are dated and stupid.  Due to not being able to do those things, I was not allowed to partake in the final field training exercise in order to graduate from AIT.  Rather than hanging out for the next 7 months in San Angelo, TX, and wait until I could complete my FTX, I took the option to get out.  

I left with an honorable discharge, a ring on my finger and disatisfaction with myself.  This still makes me a veteran.  I don’t qualify for any veteran anything since I was in less than the minimum two years that help you with college funding and all that jazz, but I’m still a veteran.  To me, I don’t feel like one.  I don’t like it when my old Army buddies thank me for my service.  I don’t stand up at sporting events or any events touting my veteran status.   I don’t feel I did anything to deserve any respect, and the word makes me uncomfortable.  

One of my closest friends sent me a text today thanking me for my service.  I told him I didn’t do shit, and it was he who should be thanked for his service.  He reminded me that we both signed our lives away for our country, which is a hell of a lot more than most people.  He has a point.  There was a clause in there stating I was pretty much handing my life over to my country.  I agreed to it, and I signed my name with pride.  I wanted to join the military right out of high school, but that was not an option I was given.  Being 17 when I graduated, a parental figure would not sign for me to join.  Instead, I went to a college I was ill prepared for, and I failed miserably.  It’s not that I wasn’t smart enough. I could have graduated from there if I had applied myself, but it wasn’t something I was ready to do.  The other option I had hoped for was to take a year off before going to college, but that wasn’t allowed either. So…

After failing most of my classes and suffering from severe test anxiety (I had never failed anything in my life until college), I dropped out.  By this time I was old enough to join without anyone else’s permission.  So I did!  I cut my hair short (something I will never do again) thinking it would be easier to manage(wrong!), and I tried to get in shape a little before I left.  It was a strange experience for sure.  I had really wanted to get into the medical field, but there were no open jobs for that line of work.  I chose intelligence instead.  It seemed exciting and full of mystery, and I’m sure at one point in time, it probably was.  Let me tell you, not exciting!  Unless your idea of excitement is sitting in a windowless building and shredding things properly, it was quite boring.  

Basic training was so much fun though!  That was my favorite part!  Although I wasn’t really a fan of the running part, I could max out on push ups and sit ups all day.  I met some very cool people there, and there were a lot of assholes there too, but it was good times all the way!!!  Off to AIT after that, and I met some more amazing people.  A few I have stayed in contact with, even if it is through Facebook.  They are good people to have in my life.  We may not see eachother or talk very often, but we will be there for one another when we are needed.  I love my battle buddies!  Always will!!!

So with that, a little back history about my brief time in the service.  I know I signed my life away, even if it was temporary, but I still won’t claim it as my friends think I should.  It is they I thank for their service.  I thank those in my family who have served this country.  I thank every veteran I will never meet for their service, and I thank those who have yet to serve, because we all have that one thing in common.  We are and were willing to give our lives for the freedoms we have today.  Those freedoms may be dwindling a bit, but they’re still here, and we will still fight for them.  So alright, I guess for one day out of the year I’ll get over it and accept my position.   You’re welcome.  It was my pleasure to sign my life away for you, and I would do it again if necessary.  

Happy Veteran’s Day!

Thank you and good night! 🙂

-Bonnie

Just some good pics to check out below

   
    
    
    
   

2 Comments »

Another Quickie!

Still here in Golden and loving it!!!  I am currently at brewery #3, Mountain Toad Brewery.  Not sure why this place only has 4 stars, because I dig the beer here way more than at Coors and Golden City.  I tried five of their beers and was not disappointed with any of them!!!


I was debating on doing more hiking today, but decided I’d check this place out instead. This morning I stopped at a place called Cafe 13 for some breakfast and coffee.  Ended up devouring an egg, ham, and cheddar croissant along with a pumpkin spice latte. So delicious!!!

After that I went for a quick walk on the Triceratops Trail!  Was not disappointed there either!  It was a ton of fun!  Short and sweet.  Then I drove up lookout mountain to a trailhead there and hiked another 2.5 miles or so.  It definitely paid off at the end!!



So I hiked back down that one and drove back into town. I am in love with Golden.  I could totally live here.  I know.  I know. Nowhere near a beach.  But it is beautiful here!!!!  Check out the creek that runs through town!


Anyway, deciding on if I want to do more hiking or walk around Golden some more.  Think I might walk around town a bit.  After I have another beer or two of course!!!  I’ll update the blog again soon!   If you want to follow me on Instagram or Snapchat find me.  Oceangrrrl on Snapchat and Oceanblc on Instagram. Pretty easy.  Find me!

Ciao for now!!!!!

-Bonnie

Golden!!!! 
Coors Brewery Tour


Headin out for the evening to Golden Coty Brewery.


Triceratops Trail

2 Comments »

Short and Sweet

Just a quick post to update anyone who’s interested.  Arrived late last night in Denver and drove out to Golden for the weekend.  Super tired this morning and attempting to get moving.   I believe I am in need of sustenance and a good cup of coffee.  Hotel coffee is not cutting it right now.  Then I will be off to explore Golden a bit and check out a brewery over here.  Tomorrow I believe I will be heading to the Golden State park or whatever it is to do some hiking, but I need to plan out where I want to hike.  Maybe I’ll ask some locals. 

Anyway, this should be a fun little weekend getaway.  I am missing my man terribly and wish he could join us, but maybe next time if our schedules sync. Yay!  All is well!  I’ll be off to taste some beers this afternoon and update the blog accordingly.  Have a great weekend!!!!

-Bonnie

  

2 Comments »

New Old Beginnings

This has been a crazy couple of weeks!  I have moved into my new place.  I moved my fur babies in with me Sunday!  Yay!  I have missed them!!!!!  Almost completely unpacked!  Still have things I need to go through and get rid of and donate.   My washer and dryer were delivered Monday, so now I get to do laundry!!!!!  Lots and lots of laundry!!!!  Dating is still exhausting, but I have a second date on Wednesday!!!!!  So excited!!!!!   Work is absolutely insane, and I don’t feel like I am anywhere near breaking the surface to catch a breath of air.  I know it’s coming, but for now it’s crazy!   Loving it!  Don’t get me wrong!  But yes still crazy!

This past week I went on a couple of dates.  One on Tuesday, went nowhere fast.  Then one on Wednesday, which I thought went great!  So on Sunday he asked me out for another one!  Uber excited!!!!!!!   I do have a drink/meet with someone else, but hey!  Don’t judge me!  It’s always good to keep your options open!  😛   You never know…  And since I never actually posted this yesterday (Monday) when I started it, my drink/meet went great!!!!!!  Awesome guy!!!  The real kicker is that he knows who my dad is after meeting him back in ’98!  Yes!  I know!!!  Small, weird world we live in!

Anyway, so yeah.  Loving the new place!  Still haven’t used my kitchen.  Will finally get to use my laundry area.  I have boxes and boxes of donation crap on my porch.  Still need to go through even more stuff and just get rid of it.  Haven’t really put away clothes yet.  Still waiting on my bed to arrive.  Haven’t gotten any internet or anything hooked up.  Have no clue what my electric bill is going to run me.  But I love it!!!  I’m having to adult again, but that’s ok.  

My mini me is doing great!!!  School starts next week!  Holy crap, high school!!!!  Child has been working her butt off for color guard!!!  She is doing so well, and she makes me more proud every single day!!!!  I couldn’t have asked for a better daughter on this planet!  Love my angel pie!!!

Anyway, gotta get some work done!  Lots to get done today!!!!   Ciao for now! 

-Bonnie
Another day…

  

My living room.  Still a work in progress, but I can sit in my couch!

  
Madi took this shot of the stairs.  Pretty awesome pic!

 
 Welcome

  
It was Star Wars night at the Rangers game on Saturday!  Loved this poster a kid had!

 
My crazy fur baby!!!

  

8 Comments »

Already Giving Up A Little…

Why the hell is it so hard being happy?  I mean, isn’t that what people strive for?  Happiness?  So why is it such a struggle?  Why is that we can work and work and work for our goals, but the happiness from achieving them fades away leaving us wanting more?  These are questions that have been haunting me lately, and the more I dwell, the more my happiness fades away to leave a dull, gray residue behind, and that’s all I see anymore.  

I had a bad night recently. Although I may have had one too many beers, I got depressed and began to think a tad irrationally.  So I shut down my FB page. I shut down my FB Messenger.  I almost posted my final blog post as well, but I fell asleep before I hit post, and now I can’t find the draft…   So consider yourself lucky. 😉   I’m kidding!  You’re not lucky!!!!  Here you are, reading my randomness again!  So there!  😛

In my last post I mentioned my loathing for apartment hunting.  Sadly I have been too damn busy to even have the chance to find one!  This only sets me back further as anything that was available for an August move in is sure to have been snatched up with nothing until September or October. Just my luck!  I am trying to get out of here. I feel like a freeloader, hence my never really being around anymore.  I’ll stay out late and grab wings and a beer at Hooters, or I’ll stay late at the park, or I’ll just do nothing really.  I try to hide in the back room to avoid being in the way and attempt to lessen my feelings of being such a loser. Which yes, I am a loser.  Such a loser of a loser.  I’m pretty pathetic.  I can’t help but feel worse and worse as each day passes.  And though no one would claim that I am one, I still feel that way just the same. Anyone who knows me also knows I never intended to be in the situation I am currently in.  If it weren’t for the heat, I’d still be in my car until I found a place. 

Among other news, I signed back up for match.com.  Yeah I know.  Guess I like to torture myself.  That must be it!  First date was ok, then he started with the drama.  Um, nope!  Second date, that guy just wants fun.  I have been propositioned via the match messenger more than I care to think about!  I had a date Sunday that I thought went great, but then allegedly we were supposed to go out again tonight, but then he got his daughter.  Which ok.  That’s fine. I totally understand that.  But at least have the decency to let me know ahead of time rather than allow me to sound like a nag until you finally tell me what the hell is going on.  I don’t see it being that much to ask for.  Really.  Common courtesy is nice!  Then there was another guy I was chatting with.  Now I have been blown off by that one the same day.  I am just really getting tired.  

So yeah.  Trying to date again sucks.  I mean really?  All you want to do is what?  Um…no. Apartment hunting?  That’s sucky too!!!  Ugh!  Just shoot me already!!!  If I wanted to hook up I’d download tinder.   Trust me.  I have thought about trying it to see if you can actually score a date rather than a yeah.  You guessed it. 

Next week I will be in Denver.  I know I am wiring stuff in the field.  That’s about it. So I am going to stay through the following weekend in order to enjoy the area a bit.  Maybe check out Garden of the Gods and some microbreweries over there.   🙂 

So I am going to leave it at that and get some much needed sleep.  Wish me luck, because I am about to throw my hands up and say I quit.  Men are beginning to piss me off.  If it wasn’t for the small amount of fun they can provide from time to time, I’d be done.  So stupid and frustrating and exhausting!  Anyway, have a good night!  😉
Fundraising event Friday night in Austin with me hanging out on stage with the drag queen.  She was fabulous!!!!!  
Where is this guy?!?!  Am I asking too much?!?!

  
Where I’d rather be right now…

  
And I can do a pull up now!!!!!!

 Woohoo!!!!!  So I rewarded myself with this!
  

5 Comments »

Adulting Is Exhausting

So I have decided to grow up again, and my apartment hunt is on.  Although I was hoping to be back in the car in the winter, there has been this constant nagging in the back of my head to rejoin “normal” society.  Please shoot me.  Apartment hunting is just as bad as house hunting, and no, I am not going to buy a house.  I am sure that’s probably a stupid idea, but in my stupid mind I do NOT want to feel as though I am tied down. I don’t want the burden of owning my own home again.  I don’t want to be the one who has to replace the water heater when it goes out.  Lonely home ownership is not on my to-do list of uber responsibility.  That is far too much adulting for me!

If you’ve kept up with my random ramblings over the past few months, you know I am currently staying at my dad’s house over the summer so that my mini me has a place to stay while I am in limbo.  I figured it is time to make a choice. Like I said, it’s this nagging sensation.  Which is kinda funny to me in a way.  I believe I am decently normal.  I mean, the way that society sees me anyway.  I have an excellent job.  I go to the gym.  I pay my taxes.  I contribute to the economy.  I don’t have run-ins with the law.  I don’t do drugs (alcohol does not count).  All things a typical, run-of-the-mill citizen does right?  I am pretty frickin boring actually.  Wow!  I am totally boring!  

But boringness aside.  I have a pretty kick ass life.  To those who don’t know me at all, I am just another one of those people who blends in with all the others. Ok.  Maybe I don’t blend that well since I usually tower over most people I stand next to, but you get the point.   Since I began this weird, self-discovery journey thing, I have become more self aware of where I stand in the great chain of things. I know who I am.  I have a sarcastic sense of humor that not everyone understands. I know I can drive some people nuts with my weirdness.  I am driven to succeed in whatever path I choose.  I love to be outside.  As much as I enjoy being alone, it can also suck.  Sometimes I wish I had more friends, but that list just kind of shrinks more and more as I get older.  So that sort of sucks.  But anyway, enough about who I think I am.   Back to this whole stupid apartment hunt shit.  Ugh!  

So, searching for apartments has of course become “easier” since you can look online.  I did this for my last apartment.   Then you get a $200 gift card in the mail for using their locater and yadda yadda.   Well, I have come to find out just how picky one can be when it comes to apartment hunting.  I have a general idea of where I want to live, but it’s so expensive.  That is why the whole buying a house thing was mentioned earlier. It’s pretty much like making a house payment for something you don’t own.   But!  You get a pool and a balcony and landscaping and maintenance and noisy neighbors and maybe a gate and a basketball court and access to bike trails and convenience all rolled into it, so I think it’s worth it.  I just need to really decide how much I want to fork over every month for those amenities.  My safe price range puts me nearly into ghettoville.  Not that I couldn’t pay more, but it’s just ridiculous!  I would love to get a studio or efficiency, but those are just nonexistent outside of the downtown areas, or Irving.  Nope!  Not living in Irving.  I would just assume to avoid Dallas for the rest of my life, you know, except for the occasional kick ass concert or gathering with friends, maybe a Mavs or Stars game. Ok fine.  There’s a lot of cool stuff to do there.  I just refuse to live there.  I work in Fort Worth anyway, why would I want to live that far away?  So anyway, apartment hunting is becoming a nightmare.  I have dealt with Section 8 apartments.  They’re definitely in my price range!  But wait! What was that?  I make too much money as a single person.  Seriously?!?!  So nice to know that since I make more that I get to pay $200-300 more a month to live in a box.  Frustrating!  No wonder some people just give up on striving for more.  I mean, what’s the point?  The more you make the more you pay out the ass!  Sorry.  Thankfully I was brought up to work hard and be responsible for my own actions and their consequences.  It’s not easy, but oh well.  No one ever said life was going to be smooth sailing.  

But oh God this whole adulting thing is stressful.  I don’t want to act my age, but there are circumstances where it’s necessary to act like an adult.  I am a mom, and even that is difficult to be at times.  Maybe that came out wrong.  It’s not hard to be a mom, it’s hard to convey the image of being a mom around other moms.   Does that make sense? Most of my daughter’s friend’s mothers are about 10 years older than me.  Most have multiple children.  Some are super sweet, but the majority are seemingly materialistic and underlyingly catty.  Would I ever tell them I lived in my car for a few months?  Hell no!  Would I ever hang out with them voluntarily on a Friday night?  Probably not.  I may like nice shoes, but I don’t go out shopping, and I don’t care whose name is on a purse (which I don’t carry), and I don’t care about labels, and I don’t care that my car is dirty, and I just don’t care about that pointless crap.  It’s all just a façade.  It’s a projected image of status, and it is beyond me.  I know image is important.  That’s a given.  I’ll dress and act the part when needed, but I would prefer to just be myself.  It all comes down to perceptions.  How the hell did I get on this tangent?!  Holy crap I veered way off course.  I guess it’s been so long since my last post that I am just full of total randomness!!!!  It is spewing out like a really bad night out on the town that went south quickly!  Holy hell!

Anyway, I think I am just going to shut it down there!  I could probably blah blah blah for the rest of the day, and then you could just use this post as a sleep aid.  So with that, I am going to spend some time with my angel pie.  I hope you have a beautiful day!  Go make a memory, have an adventure, smile.  

Ciao for now!

-Bonnie

   
       

13 Comments »

%d bloggers like this: