Bonnie’s Beach 🏖

My Life. My Experiences. My Love. My Words.

About Last Night…

on April 6, 2015

So I was so tired last night that I never even got to the part where my post matched my title.  Sort of a curtain/drapes thing.  I was sort of drifting in and out of sleep while typing; waking up to random letters entered on my post.  Random letters replaced with actual words and then sentences, only to find more random letters.  Yeah.  I was tired.  

So, after reading the responses to my responses to her email, I keep having the urge to correct her assumptions, but it’s just not worth my time or energy anymore.  So many ideas people get of others without ever actually getting to know them.  Stupid and outlandish, her assumptions of me are quite ridiculous and extremely biased, but whatever.  I’m done.  I’ve been extra friendly all week.  Actually, I haven’t really been extra anything. I’ve been nothing but me and treating her like a friend, although cautiously. 

Forgiveness is easy.  It really, truly is.  It’s the forgetting that makes moving on more difficult.  I don’t think one should ever forget a past hurt or pain or lie or wrongful action.  These things make us who we are.   There is always a lesson in there somewhere, but sometimes these experiences seem to be pointless.  Like a sadistic joke played on you by the universe, and at the time it feels like a knife through your heart.  Some people can pull the knife out and survive.  Some cannot. I would like to believe I have removed multiple knives.   Most self inflicted by my horrible choices.  Some from pure deceit.  Some from those I hold close to me.  They come in a variety of shapes and lengths.  Some hit deeper than others.  It’s the way life goes I guess.  Always a wise teacher, but some lessons are much harder to learn.  I am trying. 

So moving on is where I am at currently.  Although I might speak my peace in a face to face conversation in the future, but for now, :P.  It’s behind me.  I have one hell of a future to look forward to, and I am not about to miss it being stuck in the past!  What sort of life would that be?!

As far as the car living goes, I am house/dog sitting again until next Wed.  Which is fine at the moment, because I left a window cracked as a crazy rain/hail storm blew through this past Saturday night/early Sunday morning.  I had this crazy gut feeling that I needed to check my windows!  And what did I do?  I didn’t check them!!!  Ugh!  My fault!  Things are drying right now.  :-/

I do miss my car though.  That is the truth!!  I enjoy the bed, but it’s not mine.  I love being able to cook in a kitchen, but it’s not mine either.  I love having direct access to a bathroom and shower!  You guessed it!  Not mine!  I am only borrowing it.  🙂

So now with all that, I am off to bed!!!!  I am super sleepy again, and I am proud to announce I have not yet fallen asleep while writing this one!  I know it’s sort of a boring post, and I know I do way too much whining on here, but my whole blog is called Bonnie’s Blabber for a reason.  Anyway, I am off to bed.  Good night and sweet dreams!!!!

-Bonnie

  


5 responses to “About Last Night…

  1. braec says:

    Blabber on baby girl, blabber on!! I have nothing intelligent to say tonight, no words of wisdom for you, just keep going!! Never give up, never surrender!! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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