I was thinking. Yeah I know. Not much good comes from doing such things, but alas! I was thinking! Yes! It happens from time to time! Stop being a smartass!!!! I dye my hair blond so people expect less of me. It’s not working though…
Anyway, I was thinking about the past, present and future. It’s clear to me that I will never be a “good” wife. It sounds a bit strange, but it makes perfect sense in my head. The more I think about it the more I believe that I probably won’t ever get married again. I’m not saying I will never get married again, but it would take one hell of man to get me to voluntarily and happily walk down any sort of aisle ever again. Like I said though, never said never. 😉
The more I think about it though, the more I realize that I need to find a best friend. You know, someone who likes to play sports, go hiking, wants to travel, is open minded and accepting of others, likes to go to sporting events, drink beer, learn new things, try new foods, is kind to others, enjoys watching movies on the couch, loves going to beaches, willing to be an adult when necessary, will stand up for me if someone puts me down, will show that he loves me with small gestures, will hold my hand in public, will kiss my neck at random times, will be able to tell me he loves me with just a look, knows what it takes to be a man, won’t put me down, will listen to rather than attempt to solve my problems. You know. It’s pretty standard. I don’t think that’s too much to ask. It seems to be pretty “typical guy-ish” to me. But where the hell is this guy?! Ugh!
So, back to why I won’t be a good wife. I will be more of a best friend than a wife. I will be the one who wants to hang with the guys. I will expect to do all the things I enjoy now without having permission. I will not be inconsiderate of his feelings, but I will expect the same courtesies that I also bestow. Chick friends? No worries! My guy friends? I will still hang out with them! He can join me! That’s fine! But I will not give up my friends to please his ego. I will not cook dinner every night. I will not clean up after you. I will not be the only one doing housework. I will help with fixing things around the house. I have my own toolbox. I don’t need no man, unless there are wasps around. No smoking. No dip. Yes drinking. Yes playing! Let’s go play catch! Let’s run an o stacke race together!
WHERE THE HELL IS THIS GUY?!?!?!?!?!?!
I see joy and happiness and laughter in my future, but I don’t know when! Will I still be able to do all these things by the time this guy comes around? Should I just be making friends and not worry about it being anything more? I don’t want to end up being alone, but geez! Alright life, I get it! My “need” to be with someone else is more of a want at the moment. Yes! I realize I am stil working on myself! Yes! I know I need to work on my balance! Yes, I knots not that terrible being alone. I know I know.
So that’s part one. I plan on adding more tomorrow. Anyone know anyone to hook me up with for a blind date? I’ll rob a cradle. 😉 Does not have to be my age (34). Make it less than 50 though. Just saying. Remember that I mentioned a lot of action oriented activities above. Good night and sweet dreams!
-Bonnie
Bonnie’s Beach 🏖 
You’ll never be a good wife, you’ll just be an amazingly awesome wife… It’s funny, I was readings your post and it was all the stuff we got to do when you were here in CA. Why do you keep describing me in your posts.. This is getting creepy…LOL 😘
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Don’t search him out, you will only convince yourself that he doesn’t exist.
I assure you he does and will come to you when he’s supposed to, just maintain your balance and keep your eyes open and know he’s looking for you as well with the same doubts….
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Well thank you! It does seem to get to that point where you really begin to wonder if you’re hoping for too much. I have obviously lowered my standards in the past. I won’t make that mistake again! One of these days…
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Never lower your standards…! You’ve lived too long and went through too much to know what and who you are!
Accept nothing less than who you are willing to be…..
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Nope, you’re not asking for too much, I’m sure there is someone in this universe looking for someone like you as well. We both know how that friends thing worked out, example, friends first, start dating, get serious, and then they leave you for someone else anyway and the friendship is no more…..that’s the part I didn’t like, I lost a friend!
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Same here! We were great friends but fucked it all up attempting to take it to the next level. His pride just never let the friendship continue. Oh well. His loss.
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🙂 I HAVE FAITH FOR YOU MOM!!!! ❤
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Why thank you angel pie!!!! Why aren’t you asleep?
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