Bonnie’s Beach 🏖

My Life. My Experiences. My Love. My Words.

Vaginas Suck!  Sometimes.  And Some Other Things…

on May 8, 2015

So!  This post is for the ladies!  For the most part anyway. It is actually the product of a conversation I had with a friend earlier today, and she suggested I write about it.  So guess what!  I am!  For the guys who read this shit, you might feel at times, how can I put it, uncomfortable?  You might learn something.  Who knows!  You may find a great deal of humor in this one!  Hopefully the women reading this will see the humor!  Please see it!  😉

Some of us are currently, have, will be, have yet to, or will never go through again the joys of being a woman.  Every.  Single.  Month. Or like some, once every three months, or six months, or sporadically.  Now I won’t go into details, but I am pretty sure you are on the right track with what I am referring to.  Thank you Auntie. We know you love to visit, but we wish your visits weren’t so frequent and annoying.  It isn’t just the inconvenience of your visit, it’s the hormonal insanity you put us through!  The uncontrollable urge to want to eat everything!  The crazy sudden outbursts of anger due to the lack of patience!  The random crying during sappy commercials!  The insecurity.  The bloating. The sleepiness.  The headaches.  The discomfort.  The list goes on and on.  For some it is a walk in the park. For others it is hell.  Pure hell.  Picture this. You’re sitting around after eating a huge meal, and what’s that?  You’re still hungry?  Seconds please!  Then!  You need something sweet!  Bag of peanut butter cups?  Gone!  Glass of wine?  That bottle was excellent! Get my point?  And even after that you could still probably eat that half a cake sitting in the fridge.  On top of that, while eating until your stomach could quite possibly explode, that damn ASPCA commercial comes on!  Damn you Sarah Mclachlan!  Damn you sad animals with the big eyes!  Damn you all!!!  Catch my drift?

That’s not the only reason why vaginas suck at times.  You’d think that’s enough, but wait!  There’s more!  Take the workplace for instance.  You work in a very male dominated field.  You work with a bunch of guys.  Your sense of humor is probably far worse than theirs, but can you crack the same kind of jokes?  Oh hell no!  While the boys can crack jokes laced with immature, sexual humor, you do it and they look at you like you just said the words vaginal discharge. Yeah.  That face.  It is a gross word pairing, but I am just using it as a reference.  Let’s face it, no one likes to actually talk about THAT!  Then you complain about something or someone, and it is automatically assumed you are just bitching.  Whining.  Complaining. On the rag.  You name it. Automatically labeled as hormonal. Never fails.  No matter how much like one of the guys you may think you are, you still have a vajayjay, and it can never measure up in the length department.  

Now picture you work in a female dominant company. Oh the cattiness!  Not only does everyone sync up like a Fitbit to Bluetooth, but then you’re all hormonally out of whack!  Being bitchy and being catty really are two different things, but they aren’t separated by much.  Catty is a bit more behind the back.  They are the things you say to others about someone ranging from how much something is not in their job description to how that new girl’s haircut makes her look like a boy. Shit like that.  The bitchiness?  The things you say to that person.  To their face. That’s being a bitch.  And we ladies are guilty.  You would think we’d unite over our shared joys of reproductive organs, but nope.  It’s like we are constantly in some sort of competition for what we don’t know, and we can’t help it.  It just is.  It just happens.  Vaginas suck.  

Although there are plenty of times when they don’t.  I’m not going into any details.  Ladies, take a moment and think about those joys.  Aaaaaahhhhhh.  Much better.  🙂  Now quit bitchin about my lady post!  I kid I kid!   We ladies are pretty kick ass, and we know we are.  We definitely don’t need dingleberries to prove it!  Onto the other things…

So I decided not to rent that room.  There are a few reasons as to why, but it will just be better all around if I don’t.  I will continue with my original plan of back and forth between my mom’s and dad’s.  It will be better for the mini me as well since she will be close to her friends over the summer.  Definite plus!  This also means that my current living quarters will be moved out of my car in order to use it as it is intended.  Basically, I’ll be able to shuffle teenage girls around as needed.  Not a bad thing!   

Training has been going well.  Workouts have been changed up this month, and even though I am supposed to throw in a couple days of HIIT training a week on my off days, I have been entirely unmotivated to do it.  I have just been so damn tired the past couple weeks, and I know I need to get my ass in gear!  I don’t know why I am being so lazy with this, but I really need to be running every day at lunch again. At least a walk or something!  But I don’t wanna!  I know I should!  But I’m not.  I’ll get back into it.  Just currently in a bad slump.  I’ll pull through I hope.  Words of encouragement are welcome!!!!  🙂

Anyway, that’s the sort of the randomness that’s going on in my life.  I was asked why I was single by the old guy I spoke to about renting the room. I was also told I was a strange woman for not wanting a man to pay for everything and be taken care of.  Yeah.  Guess I’m strange.  No wonder I’m single!  Hahahahaha!!!!  

Alright!  I am off to bed!  And I got some more art done.  Nighty night!!!

-Bonnie

   
                 


3 responses to “Vaginas Suck!  Sometimes.  And Some Other Things…

  1. braec says:

    Do you remember what Betty White said about vaginas? They’re tough and they can take a real pounding, or something to that affect. I didn’t have all the mood swings when Auntie came to visit, I was one of those lucky women, couldn’t understand why other women had all these problems, I used to think they were wimps. I know better now, some women do suffer terribly. As far as working in a man’s field of work, yes, it can be difficult at times, look at the field I was in, one woman and fifty men, I was way out numbered, but I also didn’t give a shit what they thought of me. Hell, I think some of them were even envious because they couldn’t keep up with a woman, or do the job as well as I could. I also didn’t make an effort to be friendly, some liked me, some didn’t, but that’s the beauty of a job, you do your work and go home and they go to their own home, you only have to put up with them at work. Thank God!!

    I can’t work with other women. Remember the women’s retail stores? Women can be so wishy washy, they used to drive me crazy!! Better yet, the equestrian center. Remember how catty the women were there? All of them talked behind my back, except for one, and that was Gayle. Those women were so afraid of me that they would ask Gayle to talk to me for them. Unbelievable!! Anyway, you get the picture.

    Get out of your slump!! You are doing so good and you look awesome!! Have chocolate, or a treat once in awhile, it’s not going to kill you!!

    Love you!!

    Mom

    Liked by 1 person

  2. SSG says:

    Haha now that’s too funny Bon Bon

    Liked by 1 person

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